Men and women are currently busy looking for romantic true love at this time of year, especially online. Will you miss your romantic true love because you’re not focusing on the right things? 

Here are 5 things I see my clients overlook that impact their chances of finding lasting romantic true love. 

1. He/She is a very nice person.

   If someone is too nice, is it a turn-off? It’s funny that my clients complain that someone is rude and not a nice person. However, when a nice person shows up, they don’t feel romantic true love.

   It’s important to give a nice person a chance. And women, as we get to know someone, we can become more attractive to that man. So don’t put this nice guy in the “friend zone” too quickly or you may miss out on romantic true love!

   On a personal note, if I hadn’t given a nice person a chance, I wouldn’t be married to my husband and romantic true love, Alan, today.
   

2. Do you judge a book by its cover?

    Does he have a nice car and all the trappings of a high-end lifestyle? If so, you need to look a little deeper. Is his lifestyle real? Is he mortgaged to the hilt? Is he just like the “Tinder Swindler”?

   Although the flash is attractive to many, what about people who are living prudently and within their means? They drive a respectable car, and they have a nice enough home. There are reasons people don’t over-extend. Or perhaps, his ex got the house. Maybe he doesn’t need a car because he can take the Metro (subway), or Lift to work.

   Perhaps this practical person is your romantic true love. Would you give him/her a chance? When it comes down to it, having similar goals and sharing key values matter more in romantic true love relationships than all the fancy trappings.
   

3. Do you say “NO” to kids living at home?

   Much depends on the age of the child and the circumstances. Do they live there full-time or part-time? This may allow you to develop a relationship with a young person that may serve you in your later years. 

   Yes, there may be more freedom when the kids are launched or there are no kids in the picture. Yet being part of a family could be a nice bonus to finding romantic true love. So, re-consider passing on a potential partner because there are kids at home.  
   

4. Looking for a carbon copy of yourself?

   Chances are you won’t find a romantic true love partner who is just like you. And you’ve probably heard it said, “Opposites attract.” 

   What I’ve observed in my 20 years of coaching is that we seek partners who complement ourselves. So when someone is different, we may push them away, instead of seeing how they can add to our lives. 

   Even different love languages can be overcome when you focus on what the person is offering you! And many times we dismiss someone because they aren’t showing us love in a form we’re used to and even expect from a loved one. By understanding that there are different ways to express love, one can “learn a new language” to support creating a bond that heats up romantic true love.           
   

5. Expecting your partner to share all your interests.

   It’s simply unrealistic to expect your life partner to share all your interests. And it’s okay to enjoy doing those activities with friends and family, as well. 

   I know of a couple that have different friends for their varied activities and still have a romantic true love partnership. The couple shares only meals and a bed!

   Expecting a person to do everything with you is not realistic these days. You can ski with your buddies, and she can go to the ballet with her sister! That’s okay. So when you do see each other, you can share each of your experiences!

I hope you’ll open your mind to people who could be your romantic true love partner that you’d normally reject due to prior biases. Challenge what you thought you may not have wanted. For the right person, you may be able to widen the criteria that have been holding you back from finding love that will last. Try to look deeper and you may be pleasantly surprised!

If you’re tired of going it alone, then consider joining the upcoming Meet Your Mate This Year Intimate Group Coaching Experience with a dozen men and women who are supporting one another in their journey to find lasting love. Go to www.talkwithcoachamy.com to learn more! Don’t wait too long, we begin in February and we’re already half-filled!