Gail Rubin, CT, The Doyenne of Death, started a new column in the July 2025 issue of Funeral Home & Cemetery News, published by NOMIS Publications. The column, Mortality Movies, helps those who run funeral homes and cemeteries learn about new ways to connect with their communities. Here is the introductory column:

Films and videos are an important tool in my death educator toolbox. People will remember details from a scene in a movie or TV show 30% better and longer than information they are told by a speaker. By combining both sources of information, you can connect with your community in unexpected ways that can foster pre-need planning.

In 2024, I started a television series called Mortality Movies Each 30-minute episode focuses on a theme related to death, funerals, grief, and end-of-life issues. Two death educators join me in a panel discussion of the lessons we learn from TV and film clips included in the program.

The 14 episodes included discussions of funeral planning, funeral shopping, Viking funerals, cremation ceremonies, and cultural landmark films about death. You can access the program and film clips on YouTube by searching for @GailRubin or Mortality Movies.

At the beginning of 2025, I started showing full length Mortality Movies in my living room, with discussion after watching the film. The crowd quickly outgrew the space in my home. I contacted Tom Antram, CEO of French Funerals & Cremations in Albuquerque, NM, longtime supporters of my death education work. We first did several Movie Night at the Funeral Home events back in 2013. We now average about 20 people attending Mortality Movie Night every other Tuesday evening at one of French's locations.

Showing movies at the funeral home enables you to generate new visitors to your location(s) without them having to endure a death in the family. At this free event, we offer popcorn, chocolate and beverages. After watching the film, a facilitated discussion can drive home the lessons learned. You can also collect fresh contacts while reminding past customers of the value you offer.

Here's one example of the elements that comprise a Mortality Movie:

The 2011 film The Descendants, directed by Alexander Payne, is a quintessential Mortality Movie because it thoughtfully explores the emotional, ethical, and practical dimensions of facing death and its aftermath. Here's what makes it stand out as a Mortality Movie:

1. Central Premise: A Family Facing Imminent Death

The film centers around Matt King (played by George Clooney), a husband and father in Hawaii whose wife, Elizabeth, falls into an irreversible coma after a boating accident. Her pending death forces the family to grapple with the finality of her condition and the choices that come with it.

2. End-of-Life Medical Decisions

A major plot point involves the decision to honor Elizabeth's living will and remove her from life support. The film examines the emotional toll of such medical decisions, highlighting how complex and deeply personal they are—especially when family members are in conflict or denial.

3. Grief and Emotional Reconciliation

The film doesn't shy away from the messy, nonlinear process of grief. Matt and his daughters experience a range of emotions—anger, sadness, betrayal, guilt—as they try to come to terms with Elizabeth's impending death and the revelations about her life (including her affair). This journey provides a rich portrayal of anticipatory grief and emotional healing.

4. Legacy and Inheritance

There's also a subplot about a large piece of ancestral land Matt is responsible for, which raises questions about legacy, stewardship, and what we leave behind. This echoes themes of estate planning, responsibility, and honoring family wishes after someone is gone.

5. Mortality as a Catalyst for Change

Elizabeth's coma acts as a wake-up call for Matt, who starts reassessing his role as a father, husband, and descendant of Hawaiian royalty. The film portrays mortality not just as an ending, but as a force for personal transformation and reconnection.

6. Funeral and Farewell

While the funeral at the end, actually a cremated remains scattering, is understated, the film includes emotionally resonant moments of saying goodbye that function as a metaphorical farewell. It emphasizes the importance of closure and the different ways people seek it.

In sum, The Descendants fits the Mortality Movie mold because it uses death—not for melodrama, but as a lens to explore what truly matters in life: family, forgiveness, legacy, and letting go. It invites viewers to reflect on their own relationships and how they might face similar moments with empathy and courage.

More about the particulars of holding a Mortality Movie Night in the next column!

About Gail Rubin, CT

Gail Rubin is a pioneering death educator who uses humor, film clips and outside the box activities to get people to plan for our 100% mortality rate. Her motto is: Talking about sex won't make you pregnant, talking about funerals won't make you dead. The Association for Death Education and Counseling recognized her work with their prestigious 2024 Community Educator Award.

She was one of the first people in the United States to hold a Death Café in September 2012. Gail also coordinated the Before I Die Festival in New Mexico for seven years. In addition to the Mortality Movies TV series, she created and hosted an interview series, A Good Goodbye. She writes the Substack column, Mortality Movies with The Doyenne of Death.

She's the author of four books on end-of-life issues and death education: A Good Goodbye: Funeral Planning for Those Who Don't Plan to Die; Hail and Farewell: Cremation Ceremonies Templates and Tips; Kicking the Bucket List: 100 Downsizing and Organizing Things to Do Before You Die; and The Before I Die Festival in a Box. Her next title is 98.6 Mortality Movies to Watch Before You Die. Visit her website at www.AGoodGoodbye.com.