Every friendship begins with some sign that two people are interested in becoming friends. To make a new friend, we can communicate that we like a certain person, we want to spend time with them, and get to know them better.

What might that look like?

Go where the people are

The one place you’re guaranteed not to make friends is alone in your bedroom.

It takes effort and energy to go out and be with other people, but just showing up indicates a degree of openness to connecting. Think about what you enjoy doing that you could do with others. Where are people who share your interests likely to gather? Also, be open to meeting friends of friends. You already have something in common with them.

Start with friendly nonverbal communication

Your body language can communicate, “Stay away from me!” Or, “I’m ready to connect!” Are you looking down (at a phone) or out toward other people? Is your body turned away from the other person or toward them? Are your arms crossed or open? Are your elbows tightly against your body or a bit away? Are your hands open or clutching something?

Offer a friendly greeting

Smile to show you’re happy to see someone. This could be a gentle half-smile if you don’t know someone, or a bigger smile if the person is someone you know. Say hi and add their name, if you know it, to make the greeting more personal.

Start a conversation

A sincere compliment can be an easy way to start a conversation. You could compliment something someone is wearing or something they said or did.

You can ask questions to get to know the other person better. "What" or "how" questions are likely to get more than a yes or no answer. An easy example: "How was your weekend?" You might also try asking something about what you’re both doing or experiencing. For instance, at a party, you could ask, “How do you know our host?” At an activity, you might ask how long the person has been involved in it or what they like best about it. If they know more about it than you do, you could ask for advice or recommendations.

To build connection, find “me, too!” moments instead of focusing on impressing others. Sharing a little about something fun you’ve done might spark a conversation. For instance, you could say, “I just saw the latest Avengers movie. Have you seen it?” Or, “This is my first time doing hot yoga. How about you?”

Pay attention and remember what you learn about the other person, to show that you're interested. You can use this knowledge to ask follow-up questions. For example, if the other person mentions that their mom had been sick, you could later ask, "How is your mom feeling?" This shows you remember and care.

Get together outside of where you usually see each other

If you’ve had friendly conversations with someone in one setting, the next step is to invite them to do something with you in a different setting. You could suggest meeting for coffee, a meal, an activity, or a get-together you’re hosting. This tells the person, “I like you enough that I want to spend more time together!”

Even if they can’t accept the invitation, you’ve still signaled openness to friendship. You could try again, later, or they might invite you next time.

Take the risk

It takes courage to show openness. What if you try to be friendly and someone ignores you or reacts negatively?

That’s possible. However, most of the time, if you are friendly and open, others will respond in kind—friendly and open. That can be the start of getting to know each other and maybe even becoming friends.