If you’ve been in a long-term relationship, you’ve experienced the confusion that occurs when the “honeymoon high” wears off and you need to be able to get along. The stress that appears can trigger the most dangerous internal conflict in which you begin to believe that you’ve made a mistake.

However, the key to lifelong peace is peace-making!  When you have a few of these skills, you can calm yourself, then calm your partner and have a conversation that moves the marriage forward instead of placing the first bricks in the wall that will eventually reach the sky and END your love life, your sex life, and your peace of mind!  

Some couples believe that the absence of arguing is the way to create a peaceful life and I promise you that that is a disaster, too. If you are an “Avoider” then you’ll find that you and your partner grow further and further apart over time until there’s no fun and eventually no sex, either! But you don’t need to end like that if you’re willing to learn a few things.

Cooperation requires that you TRULY want to hear your partner’s opinions and that you’re truly capable of being ONE. Even though it’s in the wedding vows for many couples, how few contemplate the flexibility, compassion, and outside-the-box thinking that is inherent in that point of view?    

 The difference between cooperating and arguing is often a few blurted-out words and a tone of voice that tip the scale from marriage to divorce.

When your voice is void of sweetness, kindness, or cooperation, you may be on the way to a sudden and excruciating breakup. However, if you properly use phrases that motivate and inspire your partner, you can shift from tension and disagreement to joyous reconciliation.

You want to fire off, “What’s on your mind,” “Speak your truth,” or any other phrase that sounds more like shooting from the hip than loving communication. It’s up to you whether you complain, blame, and shame or speak positively, motivate your partner, and make clear, doable requests for whatever you desire.

The willingness to discuss any issue in a peaceful, mutually respectful manner creates a true bond so you feel joy, want to stay together, and move forward to an improved relationship.

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Here's how couples who stay together forever manage their inevitable conflict:

1. They never make harsh complaints

About their social life:

“I hate how we never go anywhere together!”

“I’m not your servant; I want to have some fun!

About their intimacy

“You haven’t touched me in 2 months!”

“Why did you even marry me; you don’t love me!”

About co-parenting

“Do you even know how to change a diaper!”

“I asked you if you were going to help before we had children, and you promised you would!!!”

Instead of attacking the behavior you aren’t enjoying, translate each example above so you create the first step toward an improved partnership. When both of you express your needs in a peaceful and happy tone, it becomes a motivating form of encouragement and never criticism.

These motivating phrases work like a charm if you get yourself into a positive state before you make these offers.

Feeling angry, disgusted, or hopeless with venom dripping off your tongue whenever you speak to your partner shows that learning to self-soothe will be your first step.

When you’re in a bad mood, you’re not going to create a loving bond, are you?

And this is another of my articles that adds to your skills!

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2. They use motivating phrases

To read some great and EASY examples of Motivating Phrases

Please Read the Entire Article on yourtango.com