Four-year-olds are so annoying! I’m Embarrassed for being my son’s mother.

Q….We are currently visiting our family for the holidays. I hate to say it but I’m embarrassed for being my son’s mother. I don’t know if it’s because we are away or if it’s because I’m more aware given that we have a constant audience but my son has been acting like a brat! He’s been bossing all the kids around, not listening to me and yelling at me. To top it off, when we exchanged presents, he was saying he wanted more. He even asked some family members if they had presents for him. I just feel so ashamed as a parent. He’s four, and maybe…way overtired. I have never wanted to smack my son as much as I have this weekend. Has anyone else experienced this? Has anyone else kids turned into gremlins over the holidays? Or has anyone woke up to realize that they have raised spoiled and entitled children? How can I fix this?

A….Can you relate with this mother? I know I can! There has been times when my youngest has driven me crazy too. 

Do you want to know what will create an amazing, incredible difference in results with your four-year-old? It’s gaining the awareness that kids love to earn their own privileges. Thank you Thomas for teaching me that!!!

It hurts my heart to hear that moms and dads everywhere believe that their four-year-old is annoying. If you were to practice and teach a few life skills before you went on outings with your kids, you’d experience more cooperation and success with them.

What if you could equip yourself with a few tools that would make your four-year-old a joyful, well-behaved and respectful young person? 

The truth is that kids can learn things; would love to learn things; need to learn things!

They’re counting on you to teach them, not scold them.

The reason that toddlers, small children and even teenagers can be annoying is because they don’t speak the same language as you do. They can’t. They don’t see the world the same way you do either. They haven’t been an adult yet. Right?

Children are crying out for independence and growth opportunities. They thrive for the freedom to make their own choices.

Here’s a formula that will help create more joyful outings: Make a plan with your four-year-old in advance like a fire escape plan.

Have you ever heard that before? You know how you made a wedding plan; a vacation plan; a birthing plan? You can create an outing plan with your child too!

You’ll be amazed at how simple it is to motivate him/her to learn valuable life skills like cooperation, self-control and responsibility. Manners and respect can be included too.

1. Find out what will be important for your son on your outing.

What is there to do? Ask him, “Out of all the activities, what’s most important for you when we go?” When he tells you what he would love to do, write it down.

2. Figure out what’s important for you there when it comes to your child’s behavior.

What are your expectations? Are there a few things that you need to discuss with your child about the party? Give him the best chance to succeed by allowing him to know exactly what he can do to enjoy what’s important to him.

3. Make some parent approved decisions and offer him choices.

When you offer your child a choice to run around inside the house, to not listen and to basically be disrespectful, what is he choosing to earn for himself? What privileges are happening that day? Is it a movie or a game? 

Here’s an example:

“Would you like to have all the movie, half of the movie or only a little bit of the movie?”

“All of the movie.”

“Great. When you show me this, this and this, you can earn all of the movie. When you show me this and this but show me this instead of that, you can earn half of the movie. And if you don’t listen, run inside the house and act disrespectful, you’ll only earn a little bit of the movie.”

It’s your job to teach your child what it means to use manners; what it means to show respect; what it means to listen to mommy. Kids require life skills. When they get them, they are capable of so much more than we can even imagine.

In order to help your child be motivated, teach him/her to earn their privileges by engaging in what you have to teach them before you enter any situation and then follow the plan. 

Please let us know your thoughts by sharing a comment below! If this is new to you, check out our free 4-part video series!

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