Feeling unsure about a new relationship is very common. The first couple of months can be wonderful and nerve-wracking all at the same time.  

You don’t know if you’re coming or going. And being in no man’s land can be maddening for those of us who want to know where we stand. 

If you’re feeling unsure about a new relationship, ask yourself these 7 questions to understand if you’re truly standing on firm ground:

1. Have you both agreed to be exclusive and not see anyone else?

   Assuming you’re exclusive and not agreeing to be so, can put you in a tailspin! No wonder you’re feeling unsure about a new relationship. You don’t know if they’re seeing anyone else while dating you.

2. Does your partner follow through on what s/he says?

   Do their actions match their words? With a relationship on solid ground, you don’t need to worry about them not being reliable and dependable. If your partner lapses on their promises to you, that would definitely be cause for you to feel unsure about your new relationship. 

3. Does your partner plan future dates and schedule a specific time to spend time with you?

   In a serious, adult relationship, both people want to see each other regularly and plan for the next time (or the next couple of times) to see one another. If you never know when you’re going to see this person again, then it’s not a serious, committed relationship! This alone is very telling.

4. Does your partner regularly stay in touch?

   Not that you need to have a schedule for one another in your Google calendar! However, in a committed relationship, you know when you’ll hear from your partner – there will be consistent communication. You’ll set a time to talk on the phone or have a video date if you can’t see each other in person. Also, you’ll have regular text exchanges with one another to check in. If this isn’t the case, you have every right to feel unsure about this new relationship.

5. Does your partner respond to your texts and calls in a timely fashion?

   Is there an expected acceptable response time or communication about when you would be available to respond? Or do they keep you hanging? You text them a loving message and you get crickets! And there’s no explanation for the dead silence. Then they pop up again days later with no remorse or explanation. This is when you’re probably right about feeling unsure about a new relationship.

6. Can you have open and honest conversations about your feelings without feeling scared about your partner’s reaction?

   If not, you’re probably on shaky ground. In a healthy relationship, you can have open and frank discussions with your partner, feel heard about your concerns, and be collaborative about problem-solving.

   Neither name-calling nor stonewalling are loving, supportive behaviors and both cause most people to feel unsure about a new relationship and begin looking to break things off to avoid dating heartbreak.

7. Does your partner want to introduce you to their friends and family?

   If so, that’s a good sign. If not, it shows that your partner isn’t ready to bring you into their world. There may be a reason they’re keeping you hidden. Or perhaps they’re embarrassed about their parent or sibling. Or they aren’t sure about your feelings and don’t want to explain why yet another relationship failed. This is something to check out with your partner.

Here you go! The 7 questions to ask yourself if you’re feeling unsure about a new relationship. Remember, it’s normal to feel unsure in a new relationship. And until you get through the initial dating hurdles, you can’t move toward greater commitment and feel more on solid ground about your significant love relationship. 

PRO TIP: I’ve identified 20 dating hurdles to go through until you can fully be in a committed relationship. And I share all 20 of them in the Motivated to Marry Dating® Secrets coaching program.

I’m here to support you and help you feel confident about both your relationship status and the direction you truly want your relationship to be heading.

Many of my clients are in a relationship when they seek coaching. They desire clarity about the viability of their relationship. Let me know if I can help you gain the clarity you seek! Visit talkwithcoachamy.com, fill out the get-to-know-you form, and schedule a time for us to talk.