Online dating is where it’s at right now. We’re in the dead of winter and even in Texas it’s below freezing! So what’s a single person to do? My advice as an online dating coach — Go online to search for love!

Why am I recommending this? Over the past 20 years, I’ve helped hundreds of singles with their online dating strategies as a dating and relationship expert and online dating coach. And what I observed is that over 80% of my successfully coupled clients met their life partner online AFTER my help and guidance.

Even though many online dating sites come and go, there are popular ones and obscure ones, the strategies I use as an online dating coach have stood the test of time. And it’s these I want to share with you now.   

Without further ado, here are my top tips:

1. Be able to describe your life vision and your core relationship values.

   This is critical because you want to make sure you and your potential mate are going in the same direction and want the same things in life. As an online dating coach and certified professional life coach, I want my clients to get grounded in who they are and what they want before they go online. 

   I want this because everything stems from your life vision and core relationship values. You’ll even find that you’ll connect with people more easily when you share these things.

   You’ll also want to make sure that you’re communicating these important things in your profile so your intended partner will be able to say, “I want that too!” 
   

2. Be able to succinctly communicate who you’re looking for in your profile.

   Knowing who you are looking for is also critical for an online profile.  Not that you need a long laundry list. If your list is too long, you may appear high-maintenance or demanding. However, identifying the key 5 to 7 things that really matter about the person you want to meet will give you focus and the ability to recognize the right person when he/she shows up.

   One pitfall some of my clients initially fall into is being too restrictive in their lists. You’ll also want to be sure you’re not being unreasonable. Certain things like height or lack of a full head of hair are not what matters at the end of the day! Instead, focus on things that are enduring and will truly improve your life. 
   

3. Be willing to boldly state your goals for dating.

   As an online dating coach, I highly recommend you do share for what purpose you’re dating online. Do you want a long-term relationship, or are you seeking marriage? Do you see yourself having a family, or know you don’t want children? Do you want a companionship in which you maintain your own homes, or do you expect to live together?

   When you state your true reason for dating, potential suitors can decide if they’re on the same page as you or not. And if not, they’ll move on. That way, you’re not wasting your time with the wrong person.
   

4. Make sure your photos are the most attractive possible.

   As an online dating coach, I’ve looked at hundreds of profiles and evaluated thousands of photos for my clients. And I would say, 8 out of 10 times I feel that my clients can do better with their photos and recommend that they get new pictures.

   Getting attractive photos involves choosing the right outfits (ones that are flattering), natural makeup for women, and having a photographer who specializes in taking photos for online dating profiles who can capture you in the right light and poses. I also recommend natural settings rather than studio shots.

   You want to be sure to add some candid shots of you living your life be it some fun shots, showing you in action if you’re into a sport, or just a more casual one as a day in the life, “this is me” shot. Only showing “Glamour Shots” on your profile will make it hard for you to show up as the person in the photos and will lead to disappointment.
   

5. Decide which sites fit your needs best.

   As an online dating coach, I help my clients make decisions about which sites to go on. Some of the factors that go into determining which sites to go on include your age, ethnicity, religion, and stage of life. There are literally thousands of dating sites and apps and choosing which one(s) to focus on can be overwhelming.

   Then there are the ones that seem to be the most popular in your locale too. I recommend my clients pick a general, widely-known dating site and a more specific “niche” site to get started with online dating.  
   

6. Have a strategy for messaging and know what your next steps look like.

   One of the most important things to think through is setting boundaries about how often to message and when to message someone. Just because it’s expected does not mean you need to be texting someone every hour on the hour! People have lives! They may have jobs that require focus and phones are put away. And don’t expect to message someone at midnight unless you’re both okay with it.

   Then you need a next-step strategy. Will you talk on the phone or by video? Do you meet right away? What is the risk of doing so? (As an online dating coach this is not something I recommend). And safety is of the utmost importance for my clients.

   Last, can you recognize a scammer? And if so, how do you cut them off? I’ve seen very intelligent people get taken by scammers. So learn what to look for and how best to extricate yourself from them.(Here’s a great blog post to help you recognize red flags when you’re online dating.)
   

7. Know when and how to cut out inappropriate people.

   Not everyone is going to be “the one”. And some people won’t fit your needs. So, you’ll want to have a way to kindly let someone down – if they’re nice to you. You never know when you may run into them in person if they live in your town or city.

   It’s also important that you know how and when to block someone if they’re nasty and rude. (You may even report them to the dating site.)

   Some of my clients have a hard time rejecting someone. If this sounds like you, keep in mind that when you do let them go, they can find someone who’s a much better fit for them. You’re doing them a favor by not stringing them along.
   

8. Have a process to check out people and validate who they truly are.

   Knowing who you’re meeting and what kind of person they are, is very important. There are ways to check out someone and make sure they are who they say they are. (Some people have elaborate schemes. I recommend you watch the “Tindr Swindler” on Netflix.) 

   As an online dating coach, I provide my clients with sites that check out people and other ways to make sure they’re not interested in a nefarious person. One just needs to be careful. Appearances are not always as they seem. 

   Most of my clients meet very honest and trustworthy people. My job as an online dating coach is to make sure they make smart choices and know what they’re doing. 
   

9. Have fun with the online dating process!

   Online dating can be a way to meet interesting people and widen your social circle. One client in a small town told me that online dating was her social life!!

   If you take it in the right spirit, you’ll find that you’ll have some wonderful experiences and learn about yourself in relationship.

   As they say, enjoy the journey!

If you want help to make this process smoother for you and more fun, then let’s talk! www.talkwithcoachamy.com

One of my clients who recently met her partner online after 3 months of our coaching said that this process is “magical”. She’s a 40-something single parent and is now planning her future with her partner. 

Now is the best time to be looking for love. You’ll be glad you hired a relationship expert and online dating coach to pave the path forward for you.

I’ve got your back,
Amy