You may have read my columns about finding your Perfect Lifepartner with whom you feel a magnificent and magical spark and who also loves the same sports and vacations and all the activities that are key for you. I’ve written other articles describing peaceful, loving communication so that your deepest connection is retained.
But what about PRESERVING YOUR SPARK? In my videos about the “19 Domains of a Successful Marriage or Long-term Relationship,” I step way out on a limb and tell you that SEX IS the most important because in monogamy you only get 1 lover. If you want great sex, if you need great sex, then you have to do your Due Diligence to ensure that you and your partner are well-suited when you begin. That means chemistry; the one thing that you can never fix!
The 19 Domains of a Successful Marriage Part A
Lifelong Passion
In addition, and just as essential you need to confirm that each of you is committed to maintaining the physical and mental health required for a fabulous sex life. While many men believe that older women lose the urge; that is NOT TRUE. Although many women believe that older men may lose their libido that is no longer true and if you haven’t heard about all the meds for ED, you need to.
This article is also valuable for people for whom Sex is not Essential and the key is to understand yourself and your potential partner NOW, BEFORE you COMMIT. Please be crystal clear right now if that is or is not you!
Dealbreaker or Not?
In one survey reported by the Daily Mail UK, of 452 married people surveyed, 78% of them said they would stay married if they no longer felt sexual desire for their spouse.
If you’re reading this and your relationship is in the honeymoon phase, you’ll feel horrified and think, “What’s wrong with those people, they must be dead!” If you still rush home from the office to make sweet monkey love, you’ll feel stunned that other marriages lack the heat and ecstasy of your own.
But for millions, sex is not the primary reason for selecting a long-term partner; it’s simply one of the ingredients in marriage.
For others, every need, including financial partnerships, friendship, and fun, can be met by millions of people. If you’re monogamous and crave emotionally connected passion with one partner, how can you avoid the “one partner” becoming no partner at all?
Here is my article about my Heartspace skills that save so many Relationships:
RELATED: How Couples That Stay Together Forever Manage Conflict
Why losing the spark doesn't have to end your marriage, if you have a plan in place
Not everyone has the same sex drive
One of my friends had this horrible shock after 20 years when his wife pulled the plug on sex. Little by little, she didn’t want to, wouldn’t, and finally ended their love life and his sex life.
He described himself as a boiled frog for whom the heat was turned up little by little until he had been boiled to death. In fact, he was a freezing frog, hibernating over the winter in his frozen lake, except for him, the Spring thaw will never come.
We can’t make people wrong for having low libidos unless they have conned us into marrying. For instance, a few months into my second marriage it became obvious he had lied about his sex drive. He had conned me into the match he desperately needed, and there were two indications that he lied about sex. I dismissed the effect these people had on him. I was absolutely wrong.
First, his father’s anti-sex programming campaign. Second, his meditation teacher; a monk who promoted celibacy.
None of these things are deal-breakers if he had the right partner for his preferences, but they should've been a topic of conversation from the beginning and they were a total deal-breaker for ME!
You can avoid the shock of a lifetime
If you agree that sex is a non-negotiable component in a happy relationship that creates a loving bond between you and your partner every week, then beware and prepare.
For the rest of this article PLEASE visit my yourtango.com pages https://www.yourtango.com/sex/protect-spark-in-marriage
Please email me your favorite topics
Here is another article of mine that you may enjoy and there are many others hear on the topics of love, passion, intimacy, and joy!
The Subtle (But Powerful) Way Partners Ask For Love & Attention — And How To Respond