Monday, March 11, 2013

I remember when my mornings were chaotic, stressful and oppositional. There was definitely yelling and sometimes tears with everyone working against each other toward their own individual agenda. This is like having several different roadmaps for the same trip! How silly does that sound?

When everyone would leave the house, it was like the finale of Titanic, when the ship finally went down and all you could hear was an eerie quiet. Well, for a few seconds anyways until you realize you have the house to yourself but have to spend the first hour cleaning up the house. Urgh! It's time to turn those tables around!

My husband Thomas Liotta taught me to create the correct environment where I could always be the good guy and at the same time give the children an opportunity to be praised. Here is how it goes!

First, we created the correct environment where everybody knows everybody else's expectations and we put that in writing. Next, we found out the reward for our children very quickly by listening to what they ask for. "Mom or Tom, can we listen to our music?" Also, we set the stage that a ride to school is a privilege, which it is and the alternative is to take the bus, walk or pay for a taxi. The ride leaves at precisely 8:05 and if they wish to hear music on the way to school, they will have completed all tasks and be sitting in the car waiting by 8:00.

There is a reward system for everyone who accomplishes their tasks, without being asked for every segment of the day, every day. Everything is in writing. These rewards include TV time, computer time, friends coming over, home baked cookies, etc. You would be amazed at the amount of effort a child will put in to earn a home baked cookie! This reward system is all tied together with their own personal self-control, responsibility and self-discipline with the rewards being awarded for the week every Friday.

Since we incorporated this parenting philosophy into our home, our mornings are extremely quiet, cooperative and happy. There are no power struggles, no sibling rivalry and no crying. The relationship I have with my children, when focusing on creating a winning environment in everything we choose to create as a family, is more strong, loving and together than ever before. Here's to happy parenting!