Recently I found the birth mother and she met her son for the first time. He asked about the father and was given a name and very little information to work with. The birth father had been in the military and had a fairly common name, which makes it difficult to find him. The birth mother estimated his age and remembered where he was born.

So all I had to work with was a common name, an estimated age, and a state where the father was born. I searched and searched and found many men with that common name, but finally I found the right one.

Over the years I have helped many adoptees find their biological families, and many biological families find adoptees. It is one of the most difficult, challenging, and rewarding searches I have ever worked on. I have learned that there is a real need for an adoptee to know their identity. Their search is not necessarily for a relationship with the biological family, but rather a search for unanswered questions about themselves. In many states adoptees are denied the right to know their identity and many have spent their entire lifetime searching for answers.

It might surprise you to know that there are an estimated 127,000 babies adopted in the U.S. each year. Many are coming from other countries and I am afraid those kids may never be able to trace their identities.

Fathers are often denied rights to their children and this is a separate topic, but one that needs to be addressed, and the laws of many states need to change to allow fathers, adoptees, and biological families the right to obtain information and the right to know the "unknown". Living with the unknown can cause someone's life to become out of balance and it just isn't fair.