Our natural desire to be liked and, even more so, loved, can cause us to try enormously hard to fit in and behave in acceptable ways. It’s easy to forget, though, that the best way to be loved and accepted is to be ourselves…fully, unapologetically, unabashedly. Indeed, when you allow yourself to show up authentically, you become a magnet that attracts the “right” people—those with whom you are well matched.

Of course, you also repel the other people…those with whom you are less well matched.

That’s tough for most of us…me included…to accept. And it can keep you locked into less authentic ways of showing up in the world.

It’s Not about the Numbers

As an author, coach, trainer, and online entrepreneur, I have found myself trying to attract as many people as possible to my work. In fact, the numbers make little difference to my ability to make sales and gain clients. The only thing that makes a difference is attracting people who are a good fit to work with me or read my books. I need the right people.

Personal and professional success is really all about relationships. You want to attract more of the right people to you—the ones who will accept and love you as you are—rather than a whole lot of wrong people—the ones who will judge or hate you.

Remember, like attracts like. And that’s what you want…to attract people who are a good vibrational match. They don’t all have to be just like you, but they do need to appreciate what you bring to the table and go well with your “dishes.”

Your Magnetic Forcefield

If you recall what you learned about magnets back in grade school, you know they have two poles—north and south. Two magnets are attracted by their opposite poles, yet each repels the like pole of the other magnet.

In this case, like does not attract like.

Yet, each pole attracts to it the other pole—north attracting south and vice versa. The magnets attract to themselves the opposite, but complementary, force. In fact, they are part of a whole.

So if you are north, you want to put out an electromagnetic field that attracts south—your other half.

How do you do that? By being yourself.

Be Authentic

Most of us are too afraid to be ourselves—at least not in our entirety. We hide parts of ourselves and pretend and hope that someone will like or love us (as long as they don’t know who we really are). In fact, by stepping fully into yourself and courageously showing up in the world as that self—good, bad, ugly, beautiful, flawed, perfect—that you will attract the people with whom you are most compatible.

Imagine putting up a profile on a dating site and not being honest. Then, you wonder why the dates you have never work out. The people who agreed to meet you were expecting someone different. And you wrote that false profile with the hope of attracting just the right partner by not repelling anyone. As a result, you went on a lot of really horrible dates with people who were not a good match for you.

Stop worrying about who you repel. You don’t want them, and they don’t want you.

Focus on who you attract…and attract them by letting them know the real you.

Who I Attract

When I run programs for writers, I don’t talk much about myself and my interests beyond writing and publishing. Most aspiring writers know I’ve written books about these topics and that I’m a blogger and Author Coach. Yet, most of my attendees reflect back to me something essential about who I am—I am spiritual and passionate about metaphysics and personal development. My classes are typically filled with therapists, retired pastors, people involved in their churches, psychics, and intuitives.

Over the years, this has not been something I advertised from my writing sites. In fact, I was afraid to talk about God, purpose, or spiritual connection…let alone the Law of Attraction, guides or past lives. But who would I have loved to work with? Writers who were interested in these topics.

These perfect students and clients for me have found their way into my experience anyway—without my prompting or disclosure of my interests or my showing up as myself fully and unapologetically. And I’ve been happy they did!

I realize now, however, that I want to attract more of them… More than that, I want to show up in every area of life as my true self. Therefore, I am focused on who I attract, not on who I repel.

Be a Magnet for Your Right People

If you want to surround yourself personally and professionally with the right people—those who complement you…people who are a good fit…the right people for you, it’s time to turn yourself into a magnet. Be honest and authentic, and watch how the right people will not only show up, they’ll find it almost impossible not to be magnetized into your world.

As for those who judge you in some way for your authenticity, say, “I’m sorry we don’t seem to be a good fit.” Then point the opposite pole of your magnet toward them, and watch them quickly move away.

Stop worrying about the little bits of metal that you literally push away with your energy and vibration—by being your authentic self. Instead, focus on and welcome with open arms those that you pull into your magnetic field.

Are you magnetizing the “right” people into your life by being authentic? Tell me in a comment below.

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Photo courtesy of Dan Cook on Unsplash