"The Infidelity Epidemic"

It's pervasive - it's contagious! Are you a part of it?

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We're hearing about it in Hollywood - but it's happening all around us – INFIDELITY

Infidelity, its all around us and comes in many forms - physical, financial, emotional. Anything that takes you away from intimacy with your partner, intimacy being HONESTY, is infidelity. Long time marriages, partnerships, and relationships being broken up - lack of intimacy – lack of time spent together - lack of passion not just for each other but for mutual interests. Some researchers say there's a 50–50 chance today that one partner will have an affair during a marriage; that includes non-physical relationships.[1] It is estimated that roughly 30 to 60% of all married individuals (in the United States) will engage in infidelity at some point during their marriage!

1.  Celebrities and Infidelity – Hollywood Trendsetting or Just Human?

Hollywood has a history of Infidelity and relationships.  Clark Gable and Loretta Young met on the set of Call of the Wild, in 1935 – Clark was married and Loretta became pregnant with Gable's child.  Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacal met while he was married and quickly found himself in love with a 19 year old – He divorced his wife and married Lauren.  Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor who were both married to other people when they met and began their famous affair on the set of Cleopatra in 1963. In recent months we have seen some of our favorite celebrities; Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren, Sandra Bullock & Jessie James, LeAnne Rimes & Eddie Cibrian, David Boreanaz & Jamie Boreanaz, and John Edwards & Reille Hunter struggle with infidelity. What is the message we are getting from all this?  That infidelity is the norm?

2. What is Infidelity anyway?

Infidelity is the opposite of intimacy. Intimacy is about being honest, truthful and open in your relationship. Infidelity is not just about sex outside the relationship, it is about betrayal, lying, disloyalty and loss of trust. What makes infidelity so painful is the fact that it involves someone deliberately using deception to violate established expectations within a relationship. Watching porn, when you do it alone and don't tell your partner about it, can be a form of physical infidelity. Emotional infidelity refers to emotional involvement with another person, where one partner channels emotional resources such as romantic love, time, and attention to someone else. This has become more prevalent now with the popularity of social networking sites. Then there's financial infidelity, when one person is not honest with the other about where or how money is being spent.

3. Forever is not a guarantee!

Success stories do exist, like those of Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson, William H. Macy and Felicity Huffman and Warren Beatty and Annette Bening.  From what we can see of these relationships, these couples are setting a good example.  But as we know, there are many long-term relationships that are breaking up, too.  Al and Tipper Gore, after 40 years of marriage, are divorcing.  Marriage is work, all the time. Infidelity is just one cause of breakups. A marriage needs attention, affection, and time to thrive.

4.  Intimacy is the antidote to infidelity.

To avoid infidelity, take a healthy dose of intimacy! Be honest. Be close, physically, and emotionally. Share your lives and your thoughts with one another. Talk about issues and concerns, talk about money and finances. Many couples will share their bed, but not their checkbooks! Remember that this is a partnership in every sense of the word. Take care of yourself, of each other, and of the relationship, because the relationship is an entity unto itself.

5.  Can you move past infidelity?

Yes. If this is something you both want and are willing to recommit and take the steps necessary to heal the relationship, the marriage can continue. You both have to be equally invested, and having closure from the experience will allow you to move forward.  And if you choose not to continue the relationship, you can still move past infidelity into forgiveness, and even gratitude, with closure. 

Lissa's Bio: Best-selling author Lissa Coffey is a lifestyle expert and relationship expert who serves up piping hot dating and relationship advice! She is a refreshing radio and TV guest known for her inspiring blend of ancient wisdom and modern style. Lissa is a life coach who taps into her vast knowledge of Ayurveda, Feng Shui, Aromatherapy, Hypnotherapy and other ancient philosophies to come up with positive solutions for contemporary challenges.

To See Lissa Coffey's TV reel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=be1UpJLAm44

To Book 'Lifestyle & Relationship' Expert Lissa Coffey for an upcoming segment on your show please contact:

Lissa Coffey: 818-707-7127 | e-mail: editor@coffeytalk.com | http://www.ClosureBook.com

Or Dunn Pellier Media • Nicole Dunn 818-231-5589

1. Jayson, Sharon (2008-11-17). "Getting reliable data on infidelity isn't easy". USA Today. http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2008-11-16-infidelity-research_N.htm. Retrieved 2009-10-19.