When we give our children something for nothing, we are teaching them to live in a world that does not exist. Imagine this: you go to a job interview and the boss tells you that you are hired to start on Monday. Then you tell him that you want your office over there, a desk over here, and oh yeah, you will only begin work at 10am, not 9am. Then you inform him that you want your money up front and you will do the work later. Can you picture it? How long will you have that job for? You know the answer. We know the answer! You wouldn't!

Look at nature: When a baby rabbit doesn't listen to his or her mamma, he gets eaten; the mamma bird kicks her young out of the nest, ready or not; if you help a butterfly out of the cocoon, the butterfly is crippled for life, never able to fly on its own. Do the parents of today even realize that by never allowing their child to fail, they are crippling their chance for success in life? I bet not. Even if they become aware of this fact, are they willing to do anything about it?

I know for a fact that parents out there are praying for an answer on how to deal with their children! Even though this is a 100% true fact, people have accepted incorrigible behavior from their children as a normal event. It's not! I have seen children who have been diagnosed with behavior disorders like ADD and ADHD as well as Oppositional Defiance, completely turn around with a different, new, positive approach to parenting! When I say positive parenting, I mean parenting with an attitude of yes, instead of no.

I know this is hard to grasp at first. How can it be possible to always say yes to a child or teenager? First of all, you can ask your child if they would rather have responsibility for their own life or if they want you to have responsibility over their life; they will choose themselves every single time. So, create an environment that allows them to set goals, create plans, and persevere to success by teaching them to earn privileges. What is a privilege? Anything outside of food, shelter and clothes.

Make a list of everything that your child or teenager asks for outside of those three things, for example, TV, computer time, desert, movies, video games, designer clothes, butter on the vegetables etc, etc, etc.... These things are your child's motivation to action. Every person to accomplish anything must at first learn to ask for it or desire it; that is called a goal. Once you have asked for it or you have set a goal, the next required step is to create a plan, and the final step is to persevere through obstacles until the goal has been achieved.

"Mom, can I have a car?" "Yes, I would love for you to have a car. That's called a goal. How much does a car cost?" That is the first step to creating a plan. Teach your child that whatever goal they choose, they have the ability to be, do or have anything they are willing to work for. Now, will your daughter have a car today? No. Will she have a car if she sets a goal, makes a plan, and then saves money until she has enough to buy a car? Absolutely!!! Now we are teaching our children to live in a world which does exist.