Friday, October 26, 2018
CONTACT: Pamela D. Wilson 303-810-1816
Email: Pamela@PamelaDWilson.com
Golden, Colorado, October 26, 2018. The National Veterans Memorial and Museum is opening in Columbus, Ohio. My father, John Anthony Dombrowski, was a WWI Veteran who served in the Solomon Islands. His father served in the Polish Army.
Living World War II veterans are becoming a rarity:
"According to the US Department of Veterans Affairs, 496,777 of the 16 million Americans who served in World War II are alive in 2018."
Veterans who dedicated their lives to service continue to dedicate their lives to the care of aging spouses. My father, cared for my mother, who predeceased him. In my experience as a caregiving advocate, male World War II veterans are staunch caregivers for their wives to the point of being plain stubborn and refusing help from others.
I am an avid reader and have a love for the military because of my father. A book, Extreme Ownership: How U.S. Navy Seals Lead and Win written by two navy seals talks about combat leadership. My father, like most WWII veterans talked little about the horrors of war. His character, work ethic, and loyalty to family were the results of military life.
I see this same character in WWII male caregivers. The dedication and loyalty to care for aging and frail wives is relentless. Veteran caergivers never give up. Talking a veteran into accepting help feels like a battle for their adult children who are concerned their father will wear out. The idea of "leave no man behind" applies in these situations. Male WWI veterans who are caregivers will not leave their aging wives who need care. They remain until the end.
While the horrors of war cannot be compared to the stress of caregiving, the skills learned through service to our country, transfer to male veteran caregivers who are committed to care for their wives. The duty of spouses as caregivers can be significantly difficult, and benefits from skills learned in combat.
Caring for a spouse diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease is challenging and requires different skills. Commanding or ordering is not effective. Leadership skills may apply when attempting to marshall physicians and care providers down the same path for care. Extreme ownership does apply.
Concerns about running out of money and using Medicaid to pay for care exist. While many spouses consider divorce, to protect assets from Medicaid, war time veterans have the opportunity to access Aid & Attendance (A&A) and Attendance, a benefit not well publicized.
Aid and attendance is a VA program. Benefits include assistance in the home and payments to support assisted living care. Veterans service officers can provide information on this program and support exists at VA offices to complete the applications.
Honoring our veterans is important. Supporting them at the end of life when care or caregiving becomes a role is our duty. Pamela's book, The Caregiving Trap: Solutions for Life's Unexpected Changes offers rare experience and practical tips that support caregiving ownership and not leaving family members behind.
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Pamela D. Wilson, MS, BS/BA, NCG, CSA, a National Certified Guardian and Certified Senior Advisor, is a caregiving thought leader, elder care expert, advocate, and speaker. Pamela offers family caregivers programming and support to navigate the challenges of providing, navigating, and planning for care. She guides professionals practicing in estate planning, elder and probate law, and financial planning to create plans to address unexpected concerns identified in her past role as a professional fiduciary. Healthcare professionals are supported by Pamela’s expertise to increase responsiveness and sensitivity to the extensive range of care challenges faced by care recipients and caregivers. Contact Pamela HERE