Tuesday, May 10, 2022
You might feel like a well-experienced parent, having watched your son or daughter progress from a tiny baby unable to roll over to a boy or girl running everywhere. However, they have a way to go before they’re ready to face the adult world, and they still need support from you.
Your eight-year-old child’s gross motor skills are getting better every day, and they may now have a preference for particular sports. They’ll likely be taking more risks, especially when out of sight, and a safety talk might be in order. Your child’s fine motor skills improve, making their drawing and model-making more realistic and detailed. Practicing both gross and fine motor skills will help them progress further.
Your child has been making significant progress with their cognitive skills and will want to tackle problems independently before they ask for help. They’re reading more confidently and read books to find information and not just for the pleasure of a good tale. They can create detailed and entertaining stories using data drawn from different sources. If your child is struggling, taking the opportunity to link reading with their interests and giving them support and reassurance will provide them with the extra boost they need. Their writing is more legible and will continue to get better. Numeracy skills are generally at a point now where they can readily identify patterns, translate simple word problems into number sentences, and use a variety of strategies to solve problems with three digits or less. They’ll also be able to count to 1,000.
Your child’s confidence has grown, but they may overestimate their ability, leading to frustration when they fail. The key is to provide your child with realistic challenges, focus on their achievements, and reassure them that no one gets everything right. They’ll be thinking about the future and understanding more about their place in the world; they might even know what they want to do when they’re older. Talking to your eight-year-old about how to achieve their goals, earn qualifications, or develop specific skills will help give them focus. You may see the beginnings of a social conscience, whether it’s a concern for the environment, the plight of refugees, or world poverty, and you can encourage this by allowing your child to help others.
At the age of eight, your child’s social skills have also developed, though they’ll veer from being confident and independent with a sense of self-worth to sensitive, overly dramatic, and self-critical. Their temperament is changeable too, and they may be rude, bossy, curious, demanding, giggly, and silly all in the same day. You’ll need to allow the negative emotions, but setting limits on poor behavior is key to learning to manage this for themselves in the long term. Your child is more of a team player now, even while struggling with being a good loser. Being accepted by friends is important, and they’ll make new ones quickly (though it can be tricky keeping up with the politics of their relationships). It’s possible that they will become less interested in family activities, and you’ll have to adjust to that.
At this age, kids start to feel some of the “big” emotions such as embarrassment, guilt, or shame, but they’re better at talking about thoughts and feelings; this is an excellent time to teach your child to value themself and provide strategies to make things right and forgive themself. They’ll start to understand the other person’s point of view more and the concept of masking emotions. Your child will still seek your support when feeling emotional, but they’ll be more cautious and less likely to want to sit on your lap for a cuddle.
Parenting a child at the age of eight can give you new challenges, but maintaining the habits you’ve developed over the last few years—showing affection, recognizing effort and achievement, setting and sticking to clear boundaries, and encouraging patience and respect towards others—will give your child the foundation they need to continue progressing towards a healthy, happy adulthood.
More Information
Robert Myers, Ph.D. is a clinical child and adolescent psychologist and is Associate Professor of Psychiatry and Human Behavior at UC Irvine School of Medicine. He is a regular contributor to Parenting Today. Click Here to contact Dr Myers.