Tuesday, April 10, 2018
What if people really knew you better? I mean, if they really understood the good person you are and your good intentions; and they knew you are doing the best you can at balancing all the challenges and demands. They knew you feel bad when you fall short.
What if others could see your “ideal self” that you aspire to be? What if they could be sympathetic to the fact that you fall short every day of being who you would like to be? What if they could be compassionate toward the impact on your fears based on your history of personal and work difficulties? What if they encouraged you when you were being more of your “ideal self”? What if people would quickly forgive you when you fall short?
We all fall short of our “ideal self”. For many of us the biggest critic is in our mirror, or in our head. There are people who do not have good intentions. However, they stopped reading this blog post already.
Better Communicating Intent
Change Masters is in the business of helping people better communicate their intent. We cannot change who people are. We can teach the communication behaviors that more accurately communicate intent. Most people have good intent. “I learned I did not have to pretend. When I am more myself, I am a better communicator” is representative of the statements that are often expressed by our clients after coaching.
Offering More Grace.
One of my personal benefits is watching so many individual clients significantly improve their impact by more accurately communicating their intent. It has expanded my ability to assume positive intent with most people I deal with. We would all like others to have more compassion, grace, and understanding of us. What if we could do that for others?
Apologizing sincerely and quickly when we make a mistake, gives others the opportunity to better understand our intent. Being open to forgiving others who make mistakes also enhances the relationship. Apologies and forgiveness do not absolve the natural consequences. They do significantly restore the relationship.
Assume Positive Intent
My experience of coaching over several decades has proven that being kind to others, and to yourself, provides the best outcomes. Starting with positive intent toward others almost always results in a better outcome. Realizing that all of us are able to communicate at our best when we have trusting relationships.