Monday, October 6, 2025
Few experiences in life confront us with the inevitability of death like the loss of a beloved pet, especially dogs. Whether it’s a rambunctious puppy, a dignified Akita, or a cherished companion of any species, pets offer a unique lens into grief, attachment, and the meaning of life itself. Three films — Gates of Heaven (1978), Marley & Me (2008), and Hachi: A Dog’s Tale (2009) — illuminate this lesson with humor, heart, and haunting devotion.
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Errol Morris’s 1978 documentary Gates of Heaven takes us to California’s pet cemeteries, chronicling both the practical and profoundly human aspects of memorializing animals. Through awkward, tender interviews, the film captures the love owners feel for their pets and the rituals we create to cope with loss. It’s funny, sometimes uncomfortable, yet deeply moving — a reminder that grief, even for dogs or cats, is universal.
The documentary highlights our need to create meaning through ritual, memorialization, and storytelling. Pets, like humans, leave gaps in our lives when they’re gone, and Gates of Heaven suggests that it’s the human response to that absence that gives loss its significance.
(1978 – Not Rated, 1hr. 25 min.)
Marley & Me: The Emotional Arc of Everyday Life
Fast-forward three decades, and Marley & Me brings the Mortality Movie into mainstream family cinema. Owen Wilson and Jennifer Aniston’s chaotic Labrador, Marley, dominates every scene with mess, mischief, and boundless energy. Over the years, the Grogan family grows alongside him, experiencing parenthood, career shifts, and the ordinary trials of life.
When Marley ages and eventually dies, the film crystallizes an essential truth: the depth of our grief is proportional to the depth of our love. Through humor, slapstick, and daily chaos, Marley & Me shows us that loss is an inevitable but meaningful part of attachment, reminding us that even ordinary relationships — whether human or animal — deserve acknowledgment and ritual.
(2008 – PG, 1 hr. 55 min.)
If Marley & Me teaches us about grief in everyday life, Hachi: A Dog’s Tale elevates it to mythic proportions. Based on a true story, Hachi’s daily vigil at the train station after the death of his owner embodies the essence of loyalty and mourning. For nine years, Hachi returns, refusing to let go, until his final moment — and a gentle, spiritual reunion in the afterlife offers both closure and transcendence.
Hachi reminds us that mortality does not erase connection. Our bonds, once formed, persist in memory, ritual, and the impact we leave on those we love. The film is heartbreaking, yes, but it also affirms the enduring power of devotion.
(2009 – G, 1 hr. 55 min.)
Lessons from Our Four-Legged Teachers
Taken together, these films offer a rich exploration of mortality:
- Rituals Matter: Whether it’s a cemetery, a daily routine, or storytelling, humans create rituals to honor lives lost.
- Love Outlives Loss: The grief we feel is inseparable from the love we give, as seen in Hachi’s vigil and the Grogan family’s heartbreak.
- Humor and Humanity: Even in death, humor and absurdity help us process grief, as Morris masterfully demonstrates.
- Reflection on Life: Pets mirror our impermanence. Through their short lives and unwavering loyalty, we confront what truly matters: presence, love, and memory.
- Unconditional Love = Deep Grief: We mourn the loss of the unconditional love that our pets provide us often more deeply than the death of our humans.
Conclusion: Dogs and Grief
Whether it’s the quiet reflection of Gates of Heaven, the familial chaos of Marley & Me, or the steadfast devotion of Hachi: A Dog’s Tale, these films remind us that mortality is not merely an endpoint — it’s a lens for living fully. In the lessons taught by our pets, we discover that love, grief, and memory are inseparable threads in the human experience.
After all, if dogs can teach us loyalty in life and death, perhaps we can learn to face our own impermanence with just a little more grace — and maybe a few fewer tears.
Gail Rubin is a pioneering death educator who uses humor, film clips and outside the box activities to get people to plan for our 100% mortality rate. Her motto is: Talking about sex won’t make you pregnant, talking about funerals won’t make you dead. The Association for Death Education and Counseling recognized her work with their prestigious 2024 Community Educator Award.
She was one of the first people in the United States to hold a Death Café in September 2012. Gail also coordinated the Before I Die Festival in New Mexico for seven years. In addition to the Mortality Movies TV series, she created and hosted an interview series, A Good Goodbye. She is also the author of several award-winning books, including A Good Goodbye: Funeral Planning for Those Who Don’t Plan to Die.
Subscribe to her Substack column, Mortality Movies with The Doyenne of Death, at https://gailrubin.substack.com/.
Related
Gail Rubin, CT, is author and host of the award-winning book and television series, A Good Goodbye: Funeral Planning for Those Who Don’t Plan to Die, Hail and Farewell: Cremation Ceremonies, Templates and Tips, KICKING THE BUCKET LIST: 100 Downsizing and Organizing Things to Do Before You Die and The Before I Die Festival in a Box™.
Rubin is a Certified Thanatologist (that's a death educator) and a popular speaker who uses humor and films to get the end-of-life and funeral planning conversation started. She "knocked 'em dead" with her TEDx talk, A Good Goodbye. She provides continuing education credit classes for attorneys, doctors, nurses, social workers, hospice workers, financial planners, funeral directors and other professionals. She's a Certified Funeral Celebrant and funeral planning consultant who has been interviewed in national and local print, broadcast and online media.
Known as The Doyenne of Death®, she is the event coordinator of the Before I Die New Mexico Festival and author of a guide to holding such festivals. Her podcast is also called The Doyenne of Death®. She produces videos about the funeral business and related topics. Her YouTube Channel features hundreds of videos!
Rubin is a member of the Association for Death Education and Counseling, the International Cemetery, Cremation and Funeral Association, Toastmasters International and the National Speakers Association. Her speaking profile is available at eSpeakers.com.
Gail Rubin has been interviewed about funeral planning issues in national and local broadcast, print and online media. Outlets include The Huffington Post, Money Magazine, Kiplinger, CBS Radio News, WGN-TV, and local affiliates for NPR, PBS, FOX, ABC-TV, CBS-TV and NBC-TV. Albuquerque Business First named her as one of their 2019 Women of Influence.
Sign up for a free planning form and occasional informative newsletter at her website, AGoodGoodbye.com.