Joining the European Union, the world’s lemmings have banned Americans from traveling to their territories, which span large swaths of Canada, Scandinavia, and Siberia.
A statement released by the Lemming Emergency Alliance for Protection, or LEAP, “hereby prohibits any human with American citizenship from traveling into any lemming-inhabited lands in the Northern Hemisphere until further notice.”
LEAP spokeslemming Lemuel Icarus noted, “We lemmings have a saying: ‘If everylemming jumped off a cliff, would you jump, too?’ Of course, the answer is ‘Yes!’
“But even we aren’t foolish enough to run around unprotected during a global pandemic.”
Image by Royal Olive