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Lemmings Join EU in Banning American Travelers
From:
Preston Coleman --  Political Satirist Preston Coleman -- Political Satirist
For Immediate Release:
Dateline: Oxford , MD
Thursday, July 09, 2020

 

Joining the European Union, the world’s lemmings have banned Americans from traveling to their territories, which span large swaths of Canada, Scandinavia, and Siberia.

A statement released by the Lemming Emergency Alliance for Protection, or LEAP, “hereby prohibits any human with American citizenship from traveling into any lemming-inhabited lands in the Northern Hemisphere until further notice.”

LEAP spokeslemming Lemuel Icarus noted, “We lemmings have a saying: ‘If everylemming jumped off a cliff, would you jump, too?’ Of course, the answer is ‘Yes!’

“But even we aren’t foolish enough to run around unprotected during a global pandemic.”

Image by Royal Olive

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