One thing all of us need to accept, understand and get used to and that's that none of us is perfect. We weren't meant to be, it's impossible for us to be and nature never intended us to be perfect. The essence of being human resides in our humanness, which means our imperfection.

Should you be questioning this logic, there's a new research study of over 41K college students in America, Canada and the UK that examined where we were going in our striving for perfection and what might be driving it. Simply put, the researchers saw social media and its insistence on better, bigger and more relevance in everything that tortures our college students. Expectations soon are pushed into the ozone with no concomitant means of achieving it realistically.

What can be the result of this illogical driving toward a goal that can never be achieved? The sad story is that depression, anxiety, destructive relationships and even suicide may be the result. If young girls are now cutting themselves at a rate not seen previously, what is driving that? Who focuses most of their waking hours on social media? Young people and they are victimized by it or taunted by it into taking extreme measures to quell the ache it creates in them. Ridding themselves of that ache would seem in their young minds to be to seek the comfort of death. Who would ever think of death as being comforting? Certainly, any young person who feels they can't possible measure up or fit in sees it as a viable means to end the misery.

The drive for perfection, found to increase between the study period of 1989 to 2016, is primarily in the areas of money, education and career goals. Look around and you'll see that these three goals all underscore the excessive drive shown by parents when they jockey for desirable spots in highly competitive pre-schools or prime spots in schools with "reputations" for achievement.

This particular study also found that there is a significant increase in the belief by high school students relative to attending college. In 1976, about half of high school students expected to go to college. By the time 2008 rolled around, 80 percent of these students expected to go to college. The nature of the work force, of course, has inched ever upward in terms of requirements for advanced degrees, so the students were reacting to the new demands of career placement.

There's no two ways about it; our culture places serious demands on our younger generations. If you don't get into the "right" school or have a superior average or get to do research in college with a sterling mentor, how can you expect to succeed in life? The thinking is that you will be a failure.

Succeeding in life is determined how? Are you a success if you make lots of money but have no home life and all your friends are business acquaintances who are looking to gain something from this association? Are you a success if you seek only friends who can help you along and where you never find much joy in life?

Constant striving will kill people. Take a look at the obituary pages in newspapers or online. How many of the men, in particular, look 20 years older than their true age? What did they work so hard for and deny themselves so much to attain? Was the inheritance they'd leave worth the price they paid?

Sit down right now and print out a sign for your computer. Let it say, in bold letters in red: I AM NOT PERFECT AND I NEVER HOPE TO BE.  Each time you slip into that highly competitive mode and forget that life is for living, stop and look at that note. It may save your life.

Source: Curran, T. and Hill, A. (2017). Perfectionism is increasing over time: A meta-analysis of birth cohort differences from 1989 to 2016. Psychological Bulletin, December 28, 2017.