By Amanda Gore, CSP, CPAE, Global Speaking Fellow

BE YOURSELF!

So often when I present to speakers, they come up to me afterwards and say, “Thank you for giving me permission to be myself on stage!” I really understand now – but I didn’t earlier in my career!

My mentor, Michael Grinder, the world’s leading authority (in my opinion) on non-verbal communication, said to me one day, “Do you know you are a different person on stage from off stage?” This was like a knife in my heart, because early in my career I met a lot of speakers who were famous and one thing on stage and completely different people off stage, and I promised myself I would never do that! LOL

But apparently, I did! From that time on, I was much more aware of who I was. On and off stage.

It’s easy to think we need to maintain a certain persona in the corporate world and portray perfection, but it’s not true! The more authentic and transparent you are, the more people relate to you. Be real and talk about your own struggles as examples or stories – without it being therapy on stage!

If you are funny – be funny on stage! You can deliver serious material and be funny or have fun! And the audience will really be more engaged, because who wants to sit through a dry fact-loaded presentation.

If you are serious – then be more like that – without making jokes or creating something funny that might not actually be you! But perhaps tell a few anecdotes that lighten the content. Or allow the audience to engage by interacting with each other or you.

This sounds so obvious and simple, but being in your heart and genuinely focusing on connecting heart to heart with your audience matters. Focusing on your ’speech’ and what is next in your script means you are always disconnected from your audience. And they feel it.

It’s not just about your content!

Your content HAS to be relevant, appropriate, and up to date. And yours!

It’s the process that creates a transformational event.

It begins with you understanding yourself and what motivates you; why you are a speaker; what you hope to achieve; how generous you are of spirit; how easy you are to work with – not demanding or being a celebrity!

The process continues from the moment you speak to the client, right through from arriving early at the venue, having an attitude of serving rather than an ego, meeting people before you speak the night before, mingling with them afterwards if time permits, as well as what you do from the stage! You in part are the process – and how you carry yourself and interact and connect with everyone all contributes to your impact on stage.

How gracious you are with people; how patient you are; how kind and helpful you are; how humble you are; not taking yourself too seriously – these are all important for your message. You are modeling what you are preaching!

Examine your motives for wanting to be a speaker – if it’s a calling – you are on track. If it’s a path to just make money – you might have a few detours!

What does this have to do with being yourself on stage? Well, Ralph Waldo Emerson said “Who you are shouts so loudly I can’t hear what you say.” It’s true!

Who you are shines out in your nonverbal’s, behavior, humility, attitude, conversation, and willingness to be of service.