Tuesday, October 19, 2021
You may not have intended to end up here. Some things “just are,” right? College, jobs, travel, a major breakup or two – and somehow you look at the calendar and realize you’ve been alone a long time. You may not even have noticed how quickly the years have passed because you are so comfortable alone. And that status quo begs the question: Is this how you want your life to look?
Don’t get me wrong. Flying solo isn’t all bad. For anyone who is married, let alone with children, “me time” is a coveted commodity that needs to be planned and honored.
Even for the living-alone single, life in selfie mode has its advantages:
- peace and quiet
- the toilet seat where you want it
- a good night’s sleep
- your schedule as you want it to be
- doing the activities you want to do when you want to do them
- an organized or messy house – your choice!
What’s not to love? Your life your way, no hassles, no arguments. Besides, don’t all the relationship gurus insist that you need to be comfortable alone before you can be healthy together?
Yes, of course.
However, if you’re over 30 and still alone (not simply single, but avoiding or not pursuing a relationship), you may be missing out. You may have become so comfortable being alone that the perks of togetherness may not even dawn on you.
Consider having:
- consistent companionship
- a dinner buddy
- a travel companion
- an activity buddy
- physical intimacy
- a helpmate
- dividing up the chores
- someone to spend the holidays with
- a confidant
- a plus-one for events and special occasions
- emotional support when you need it
- someone with whom to grow old
- planning and creating a family
I’m sure you’ve got other thoughts you can add to both lists.
The bottom line is: Being in a relationship requires a conscious choice. And, like any important decision, it shouldn’t be taken lightly.
Relationships challenge us and reflect who we are. Having to accommodate another teaches us humility and adaptability.
My clients’ lives change when they become part of a couple.
Some of the changes clients have made include:
- moving out of state
- selling their homes to move in with their partners
- gaining children to love in a blended family
- becoming parents to their own children
- enjoying relationships with adult children
- becoming part of a tight-knit family
- traveling to exotic places
- accepting invitations to vacation homes
- gaining a business partner
- reconnecting with an old friend
- elevating their standard of living by combining their incomes and energy
This list goes on, of course. But hopefully, you’re taking pause to consider what you’re trading in order to remain solo.
Being part of a couple adds a whole new dimension to your life. It really is the meaning of “the whole being greater than the sum of its parts.”
Perhaps the pandemic caused you to begin thinking about whether or not you truly want to be alone. For many singles, the social distancing provided greater clarity about what they truly want for their lives.
Some decided they do enjoy being alone.
More than half of US households are single households. So, if the pandemic helped you recognize that you truly are comfortable alone, you have company! (*Pun intended.)
However, many recognized that they really want to be part of a couple.
If you’re currently single and unsatisfied with the status quo, kudos to you for recognizing what you want in life!
If you truly see yourself in a relationship, then I invite you to talk with me to learn what it will take to push you outside your comfort zone and meet quality people who also desire a committed relationship. Join my Motivated to Marry Dating Secrets online coaching program with bi-monthly community coaching club calls.
You’ll learn how to proactively search for the right person with support from both the group and me. This is the best way I know for you to challenge yourself to move forward toward the love and partnership you desire.
After all, spending every Saturday night watching Netflix with a bowl of ice cream wasn’t the intended meaning of “Netflix and chill.” All things in moderation.
Are you ready to exchange your “comfortable alone” status for learning the skills you need to be successful in your search for love? I truly hope so.
Are you ready to do this?
If you are, go to www.talkwithcoachamy.com. And let’s get this show on the road!
Your love and relationship coach,
Amy
PS: If you are ready to move out of your comfort zone and learn a proven methodology to find true love, then fill out my ‘Get to Know You’ form at www.talkwithcoachamy.com and I’ll meet you on Zoom!