“Lookin’ for love in all the wrong places, lookin’ for love in too many faces….” Johnny Lee’s country classic spelled out the frustration of searching for true love…and not finding it. Unless you’re dating with intention, the process can seem like a never-ending lesson in futility.

I frequently receive emails from other professionals in my industry.

And, more often than not, I’m surprised (and disappointed) by the approaches they take with their clients.

Sadly, it seems they miss the mark more often than not.

Why would I say that about other people in my field?

Well, take a look at this email I received from an east coast matchmaker:

“I am currently doing a matchmaking search for a forty-year-old eligible bachelor in Town’s Name, NJ. He is a successful entrepreneur looking for someone special, with both brains and beauty, to enjoy life with. She should be anywhere from her late twenties to late thirties and located within one hour of his residence in northern NJ, excluding the NYC area. (Yes, he needs a lady with a car!) Also, she must be beautiful and interested in a true partnership!”

What are your first thoughts as you read this profile of this client’s dream match? Substance or superficiality?

Would you even know what kind of woman to refer to this matchmaker?

Let’s review the “detailed” criteria….

He wants “special” — whatever that means.

He wants “brains and beauty” — both subjective, generalized descriptors.

He has a broad but younger age requisite and very specific geographical requirements.

Could her description be more general and vague? It’s like throwing spaghetti at the wall and hoping some of it will stick!

Did you pick up on the last line? “She must be beautiful and interested in a true partnership.”

What I read in that general criteria is, “He likes the idea of a relationship, but she really needs to be a looker. He has money, so he believes he can have pretty much whomever he wants.”

Finding true love is about so much more than checking off boxes on a bucket list. It’s about more than having what you think you’re “supposed” to have to feel successful or complete.

And it’s certainly about more than physical beauty (which, of course, is in the eye of the beholder).

That’s why dating with intention is 180 degrees different from dating superficially.

In this example, I would want to know more specifics about this man’s needs.

• What are his goals for the relationship? Is he marriage-minded? Does he want children someday?
• What are his expectations — a professional woman or someone who would gladly give up her career for kids?
• Which of his values needs to be aligned with a potential partner’s values?
• What are his non-negotiables? What must he have and what can’t he tolerate?

This missing-the-mark is the same thing that happens for my clients when they ask their friends to introduce them to someone. (Unless I’m already working with the client and I get to share my very successful strategy for asking his/her “connector” friends for introductions.)

Just imagine you’re talking to someone who knows you and also has a large social network.

You tell your friend or acquaintance, “I’m putting energy into meeting a life partner this year. Do you know someone you can introduce me to?”

Then you get the deer-in-the-headlights look and a dead-on-arrival response like, “That’s great. Unfortunately, I can’t think of anyone right now.”

Seriously? This friend who knows everyone can’t think of anyone for me?

But think about the information you gave. You basically gave the dating version of looking for a job — “any job.”

What you didn’t provide were the details that would jog your friend’s memory about someone well-matched for you.

“Oh my gosh, you’ve been to all seven continents? I have a neighbor who travels to do volunteer work. Great guy with a huge heart like you have.”

“You want someone who has a strong sense of family and wants kids? Well, that would make sense, given how close you and your big family are.”

These are just examples, of course. But hopefully you see how zooming in even a little on your values, priorities, and interests can flip the switch for your friend.

And that is how you build a foundation for dating with intention.

Let me tell you about one of my clients.

When Laurie came to me for coaching, she was a 60-something widow.

I shared that one of the top ways my clients meet their life partners is through introductions.

Laurie’s response? “I’ve tried that already.”

I told her, “I’m glad you’ve tried it. And I can help you refine your approach.”

I also encouraged her to be open to my other recommended ways of meeting people.

She took a leap of faith and signed up for my 6-month Diamond coaching package.

We worked together to determine the 5 to 7 things she needed to communicate to her network about whom she wanted to meet.

We also worked through the “Who are your connectors?” worksheet from the Motivated-to-Marry Dating Secrets coaching program.

As a result, she came up with a couple more people with whom she felt comfortable sharing her quest to find true love.

As it turns out, one of her friends had a widowed cousin who fit her description very well. From the moment they met, they just clicked.

And now they’ve been dating exclusively for over a year.

What I want you to take note of is that I empowered Laurie to do her own search for love by teaching her how to date with intention.

And I do the same for all of my clients. After all, who is truly the best advocate for you?

You, of course.

You know whom you’d like to meet. All you need is some greater clarification of your core relationship values and other qualifiers so you can communicate more clearly what you’re looking for in a life partner.

This way your fans and connectors have what they need to help you. And, when they do run across another single person searching for true love, they’ll remember what you shared with them and may initiate an introduction.

If you truly want to learn the hacks of How To Meet Your Mate This Year — then let’s talk.

In September 2021 I will be starting a new group of twelve men and women who will be learning my time-tested approach to meeting that special person.

We have only a few months left in 2021. Relationship-seeking men and women are now focusing on finding a life partner now!

I’d like you to be in the best position possible to find love this fall. I will guide you step-by-step toward the best ways I know to help you find true love. (Spoiler Alert: Hiring a matchmaker isn’t one of them!)

So let’s talk. When we do, I can help you adjust your dating radar from “lookin’ for love in all the wrong places” to dating with intention.

Go to www.talkwithcoachamy.com so we can get acquainted.

Wishing you the best in love and life,

Coach Amy

PS: This is the BEST TIME EVER to find love.

Don’t miss this incredible opportunity to meet quality people for dating and a serious relationship. Many of my clients meet their life partner within 6 months or less.

Hurry over to visit www.talkwithcoachamy.com today! I have limited spots open for a Meet Your Mate Strategy Session to explore how I can take you by the hand and show you what you need to know and do to find true love once and for all!