Excellent — here is your fully rewritten article in the exact tone and structure of the sample you As people prepare for a new year, many start by identifying what they want to eliminate—unhealthy habits, unproductive routines, or patterns that no longer serve them. But research shows that focusing on what to stop doing often leads to frustration rather than progress. The brain keeps returning to the negative behavior because it lacks a clear direction for what to do instead.

An article in Inc. highlights that high achievers rarely set avoidance goals. Instead, they set approach goals—specific, positive actions that move them forward. This aligns strongly with the Age Brilliantly mindset of designing a long, fulfilling life built on advancement rather than restriction.

Approach goals give the brain clarity. Avoidance goals leave it stuck on the very behavior you’re trying to avoid.

Why Avoidance Goals Don’t Work

Psychologists have studied this extensively. A paper in Cognitive Therapy and Research found that avoidance goals increase stress, reduce follow-through, and reinforce the undesired habit because the brain continually loops back to it.

Another study published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin concluded that people who set approach goals report higher motivation, greater resilience, and better results across multiple domains of life.

The pattern is consistent: people perform better when they move toward something rather than away from it.

Your example captures this clearly. A pitcher is told, “Whatever you do, don’t throw a fastball.” Under pressure, his mind locks onto the forbidden pitch—so he throws exactly what he was trying to avoid. Had he been instructed to focus on an outside curveball, he would have had a clear, actionable target.

The same dynamic applies to life decisions. Without a defined substitute behavior, an avoidance goal rarely produces change.

How Approach Goals Connect to the 8 Life Essentials

When framed correctly, approach goals support progress across all eight Age Brilliantly Essentials:

Health:
 Instead of “Don’t eat poorly,” try “Add two whole-food meals each day.” Apps like Daily Dozen help reinforce positive choices.

Finance:
 Replace “Stop overspending” with “Automate weekly savings.” Tools such as YNAB or Digit make this simple.

Relationships:
 Rather than “Avoid arguments,” set “Schedule weekly check-ins to improve communication.” The Paired app is helpful here.

Career:
 Instead of “Stop feeling stuck,” shift to “Identify one new professional skill to build this quarter.” Platforms like Coursera or LinkedIn Learning provide direction.

Purpose:
 Replace “Stop feeling unmotivated” with “Explore two mission-aligned activities this month.” VolunteerMatch offers options.

Passion:
 Instead of “Stop wasting time,” define “Spend 15 minutes daily on a hobby.”

Continuous Learning:
 Rather than “Cut mindless scrolling,” try “Read or listen to one new idea each day” using apps such as Blinkist.

Time Mastery:
 Instead of “Stop being disorganized,” choose “Use a planner or digital system to prioritize tasks.” Tools like Notion and Todoist support structure.

Across all eight Essentials, the pattern is consistent: behavior improves when you offer the brain a clear alternative.

Why This Matters for Retirement and Other Transitions

Retirement is a major life transition where avoidance goals frequently appear. People say:
 “I won’t lose purpose.”
 “I won’t be bored.”
 “I won’t decline physically.”

But these goals provide no roadmap. In contrast, approach goals offer direction:
 “I will build a meaningful second career.”
 “I will expand my social connections.”
 “I will strengthen my daily physical routine.”

The same applies to leaving an unhealthy relationship, shifting careers, downsizing, or starting a new health routine. Avoidance goals keep people tied to the past. Approach goals help people move forward.

Action Steps for Setting Better Goals

1. Define the substitute behavior.
 Identify what you want to do—not what you want to avoid.

2. Start with small, achievable steps.
 Use a 7-day or 30-day sprint to build momentum.

3. Track progress using supportive tools.
 Apps like Habitify, Streaks, or Coach.me make your progress visible.

4. Review and adjust quarterly.
 Life evolves; your goals should evolve with it.

5. Align goals with the 8 Life Essentials.
 Balanced goals create long-term fulfillment.

Bringing It All Together

Approach goals give you direction, clarity, and structure—especially in a long life filled with transitions. They make it easier to build new habits, crowd out unproductive ones, and create progress you can sustain. For anyone designing a fulfilling 100-year life, shifting from avoidance to approach goals is one of the most effective changes you can make.

Have you ever set a goal focused on what you wanted to avoid, only to find yourself repeating the same behavior? How did things change when you defined what you wanted to do instead? Share your experiences in the Age BrilliantlyForum to help others set better goals for the year ahead.