Home > NewsRelease > #151 People Don't Buy From Clowns
#151 People Don't Buy From Clowns
Denny Hatch -- Direct Mail Expert Denny Hatch -- Direct Mail Expert
For Immediate Release:
Dateline: Philadelphia, PA
Wednesday, March 30, 2022

#151  Blog Post – Wednesday, 30 March 2022


Posted by Denny Hatch


New Faces in Direct Mail

 Are Trashing the Old Rules


Hi,we’re Share Local Media

ShareLocal Media aims to reimagine the world of offlinemarketing for tech and e-commerce companies. 

As a full-service agency,program operator, and SaaS technology platform Share Local Media Helps tech ande-commerce companies leverage direct mail to achieve efficient direct responseoutcomes with high quality branding.



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• “People don’t buy from clowns.”   —David Ogilvy

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =


It All began with This 6” x 9” Envelope
And Its Ten 5-1/2" x 8-1/2" Inserts.

   "The wickedestof all sins is to run an

     advertisement without a headline."

     —David Ogilvy 


•   “Avoid text printedover, or reversed out

     of, a busy or distracting background.”

     —Ed Elliott


Who Sent This? I Went Online And Found

TheseClowns’ Manifesto Is Gibberish.



"ShareLocal Media (SLM) aims to reimagine the world of offline marketing for tech ande-commerce companies. We started as e-commerce marketers ourselves, andlaunched SLM with a goal of turning direct mail into a high performing,scalable channel for a digitally native client set. To do so, we’ve taken aninputs based-approach to the space, and re-engineered the channel from theground up to make it easier to test, faster to execute, more measurable, andultimately, more effective for e-commerce and tech clients of all types.

"We live and breathe direct response marketing, and strive to delight clientswith high performing campaigns built around fast, data-driven client service,and premium, unique branding." 


Now Let's Have a Look at an Insert
Written and Designed by the Clowns

 Obverse (Front) Panel. Beauty Shot.

•   “Avoid text printedover, or reversed out

     of, a busy or distracting background.”

     —Ed Elliott

Reverse (Back) Panel. The Business Side (description, price, where available, order mechanism., etc.)

Never set your copyin reverse (white type on a black background) and never set it over a gray orcolored tint. The old school of art directors believed that these devicesforced  people to read the copy; we now know that they make readingphysically impossible.”—David Ogilvy 
"Always make it easy and obvious how and where to order."  —Elsworth Howell 
"Type smaller than 9-point is difficult for most people to read." —David Ogilvy
• The only contact information—where to order—is a single, easy-to-miss line in tiny type at the bottom of the back side of the insert:
Start exploring now at awaytravel.com
• There is no ordering information anywhere on the insert. 
• What is the price of these products? 
•  What is the USP (Unique Selling Proposition)? 
• In other words, how are they different from (and better than) competing products. E.g., Samsonite, TravelPro, American Tourister, Coolife? 
• What are these products made of? What are the "three durable materials" mentioned in the copy? 
• Where are they made? U.S.A? China? India?
BELOW: Copy Retyped for Readability

Built for modern travel        
We know travel might look different these days, but we’ve
got you covered—even if you’re not going far. Our thoughtfully
designed suitcases, bags and accessories offer something
for every type of traveler, and every type of trip.

Shop our suitcases in three durable materials—
each one is designed to last for life.

Four 360º spinner wheels, interior
compression system, and combination lock.

We’ve got all shipping covered, and
exchanges and  returns are always easy.*

Start exploring now at awaytravel.com
*Items with personalization cannot be returned.
Note: the asterisked disclaimer is in wee, tiny, itsy-bitsy, minuscule 6-point Courier type reversed out in white-on-black and unreadable sans magnifying glass. This guaranteed dishonest fight-starter with customer service is hardly a confidence-builder.
Takeaways to Consider

One day a man walked into a London agency and askedto see the boss. He had bought a county house and was about to open it as ahotel. Could the agency help him to get customers? He had $500—to spend. Notsurprisingly, the head of the agency turned him over to the office boy, who happenedto be the author of this book. I invested his money in penny postcards andmailed them to well-heeled people living in the neighborhood. Six weeks laterthe hotel opened to a full house. I had tasted blood!

   —David Ogilvy, Ogilvy on Advertising


•Direct mail is the world’s oldestadvertising technique; it goes back to 10 July 1194 A.D.


• Direct mail is a not a slow, clunky,cumbersome, hugely expensive antique step-child of advertising. “Direct mail isthe aristocrat of advertising.” —Lew Smith


• Never forget the direct marketing businesshub started off as the DMA (Direct Mail Association) and over the next half-centurywent through myriad industry name-changes. Three years after it started callingitself “Data Driven Marketing” the entire once- massive and influential organizationwas basically outta business—a faint shadow of its grand former self.


• In this epoch of the Internet, SocialMedia, TV, robo-calling and print advertising, direct mail is the only safe mediumto use when you are testing a new product or service and be guaranteed it won’tbe picked up, stolen and sold around the world by Chinesethieves and counterfeiters even before you’ve finalized your start-up financing.


• A simple, plain-Jane direct mail 775-wordnon-personalized junk mail letter was the most successful advertisement in the history ofthe world.


• Direct mail is the only medium whereyou can test small, precisely analyze response results, run confirming testsand—if the numbers hold up—roll out and cream the market and leave your competitorseating your dust.


• Direct mail is thescience and art of creating wants.” —Denny Hatch 
Word count: 934



The Most Fun You Can Have
In the English Language
At age 15, Denny Hatch—as a lowly apprentice—wrote his first news release for a Connecticut summer theater. To his astonishment it ran verbatim in The Middletown Press.He was instantly hooked on writing. After a two-year stint in the U.S. Army (1958-60), Denny had nine jobs in his first 12 years in business. He was fired from five of them and went on to save two businesses and start three others. One of his businesses—WHO’S MAILING WHAT! newsletterand archive service founded in 1984—revolutionized the science of how to measure the success of competitors’ direct mail. In the past 55 yearshe has been a book club director, magazine publisher, advertising copywriter/designer, editor, journalist and marketing consultant. He is the author of four published novels and seven books on business and marketing.



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