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Hurricane Katrina Victims Need More Than Just Food, Water, Shelter - Author Offers 5 Tips for Families and Friends of Victims
Washington, DC
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
Lisa Whaley, author of Reclaiming My Soul from the Lost and Found
Video Clip: Click to Watch
Hurricane Katrina Victims Need More Than Just Food, Water, Shelter and
Financial Assistance
Life Coach and Author Offers 5 Tips for Families and Friends of Victims to
Help Them Move Forward
Washington, DC –In the wake of the devastation caused by hurricane Katrina, victims may feel as if they are somewhere in the lost and found. When catastrophic circumstances beyond our control occur in life, it's easy to feel hopeless and like giving up. Former IBM executive and now life coach and author, Lisa J. Whaley, shares her story of overcoming insurmountable obstacles in Reclaiming My Soul From The Lost And Found.
In Reclaiming My Soul From the Lost and Found, (ISBN 1-4140-7230-9 $27.95 251 pages, www.lifeworksynergy.com) Whaley reveals the decisions and actions that not only led her to lose hope and almost give up on life, but how she bounced back and moved forward and found genuine peace and serenity in the wake of life's catastrophes.
Whaley says, "After Katrina victims receive the basic necessities for survival, their journey to recovery is only beginning. They need so much more from family and friends" Whaley offers these 5 tips for families and friends of victims to help victims move forward and rebuild their lives:
1. Be a good listener. It's perfectly natural for victims to go through a range of emotions from disbelief to sadness to anger. Let them vent and let them express all of those emotions. It's difficult to move forward until acceptance of circumstances is reached. It's almost impossible to reach acceptance until emotions are released. As families and friends listen to victims express their feelings, there are only 3 things that need to be said, "I know… I understand… it'll be okay" No one can change what has happened, so being a good listener instead of questioning why what has happened has happened goes a long way.
2. Focus on the future and not on the past. Victims will have a tendency to dwell on what they've lost instead of looking ahead to the possibilities of what they possibly can gain in spite of the devastation. Friends and families of victims should encourage victims to look toward the future because we can never change the past. Even in the midst of the most catastrophic events, if we focus on the positive instead of the negative, our entire outlook can change. Even though victims will feel that they have been dealt a bad hand of cards, it's imperative that they focus on how to play the cards that they've been dealt – no matter how bad those cards may be. Maybe the victim has always wanted to relocate, or start a new career, or start a new life. Now may be the perfect opportunity to do something new and exciting that they've always dreamed about but never felt the time was right. Often times it is in the midst of crisis that we gain inner strength to do what we may have felt was impossible before.
3. Use the S. P. A. While a trip to a health spa would certainly be a luxury under these circumstances, there is a different SPA that families and friends should encourage victims to use – State, Plan, Act. Victims will have many life changing decisions to make as they move forward and need a roadmap for their journey. After all, you wouldn't dare get in your car and drive across country without a roadmap or a GPS system. Going through life changes or transitions is no different. Without a roadmap how do you know where you are going? And when detours occur, as they almost always do on a long difficult journey, how would know what path to take to get back on track? Victims should state all the things that they need to do, build a plan of how they are going to go about doing them and then begin acting on that plan. All of this should be written down in a journal or spiral notebook because the first step to making anything happen is to write it down. As victims work down their list of action items, they should check each item off as they accomplish it. This will give the victim a sense of accomplishment and another step toward moving forward.
4. Count your blessings. While most Katrina victims lost everything but the clothes on their backs, "material possessions" can be replaced – but lives can't. Families and friends should reiterate to victims that they are blessed to be alive. They should remind them of how much they are loved and how all the possessions that they lost can be replaced in time. But the fact that they are alive is worth more than any material possession. Their lives are priceless to the people who care about them and love them. Victims need to be constantly reminded of that.
5. It's okay to cry and laugh. Crying is good as it cleanses the soul. Families and friends should expect many tears from the victims and should encourage them to cry if they feel like crying. As emotions build, crying is a healthy release. But families and friends should let the victims know that it's okay to laugh too. Laughter helps generate energy and enthusiasm. Victims may feel somewhat guilty about laughing but they shouldn't. When we can learn to laugh under the most unpleasant of circumstances, it is a sign that we are taking a step toward moving forward.
To arrange an interview with Lisa J. Whaley, contact Scott Lorenz of Westwind Communications at scottlorenz@westwindcos.com or by phone at 734-667-2090. To contact Whaley regarding speaking, coaching or workshop services, visit www.lifeworksynergy.com.
Bio
Lisa J. Whaley,
From Successful Executive
To The Depths of Despair, She Reclaims Her Life
and Family
Lisa J. Whaley has 22 years of experience working for a major Fortune 500 company and has held a wide variety of positions in mid-level and executive-level management.
As a wife, mother and executive who appeared to "have it all," Whaley found herself in the "perfect storm of life" a few years ago. Suddenly, as a person who had been perceived as having scaled the top to reach the epitome of a perfect life, Whaley watched it unravel before her eyes. Life and work had become totally out of harmony and, after doing some deep soul searching, Whaley decided to take the necessary actions and do the hard work to reclaim her spirit, her family and put her life back in order.
Using a practical and disciplined approach, Whaley not only regained harmony and synergy in her life and work, but found total fulfillment and happiness in all dimensions of her life - physically, emotionally and spiritually.
Whaley founded Life Work Synergy because she became truly passionate about sharing her experiences to help others grow and become stronger beings. Whaley is the author of Reclaiming My Soul From The Lost and Found, a candid story about her life, her perspective as a woman trying to have it all while practically losing everything in the process. Whaley describes how she came crashing down from incredible heights and found the strength to lift herself back up, finding genuine peace and serenity in her personal and professional lives.
She holds a BS in Business Management from Hampton University, and is a graduate of executive leadership symposiums at Harvard University and UCLA. She was recognized as one of the "Women Who Make A Difference" at the 2001 Women of Color Technology Awards Conference sponsored by US Black and Hispanic Engineer Magazines. She is a member of the International Coach Federation.
Whaley is active in the community and mentors youth at risk. She is a professional life coach and a frequent motivational and inspirational speaker who speaks candidly and honestly from the heart.
Excerpts
Reclaiming My Soul from the Lost and Found
* Somewhere on my journey through life, I took a wrong detour and became a creation of other people's images of me. I got caught up in that creation, and that's when my soul ended up in the lost and found – to the detriment of my husband and my two daughters.
* I couldn't fathom then that there would be sunshine once again in my life. Even though it still continues to pour rain some days, I just imagine that I'm "Annie" in the Broadway musical singing "The sun will come out tomorrow" And it always does.
* As sick as I was during those two trimesters of pregnancy, I constantly rubbed my small but protruding stomach and talked to my child, telling her how much I loved her. I remember thinking, even though you're making me feel miserable right now, I'll never stop loving you. I had no idea that 14 years later I would say those very same words to her.
* I really did feel as if I could run into a phone booth and change out of my business suit into a spandex jumpsuit with a big "S" on my chest, for I truly believed that I was Super Mom.
* Back then, I was focused on trying to achieve balance between work and life. I later changed my philosophy to reflect the idea that finding harmony as opposed to balance might be a more realistic objective.
* Sometimes saying no is the right thing to do. Many women fear that saying no to an opportunity craters their career, but I feel strongly that saying yes to the wrong opportunity can be detrimental.
* The weather alerts had been flashing for a long time that a storm was brewing. But it would take the eye of the storm before I even knew what hit me. It almost drowned me and swept me away, but I grabbed hold of a lifeline and started pulling myself in before it was too late.
* Jim, like me, was in denial for a long time that our daughter had some serious issues…. After all, this was his firstborn, his little princess. But instead of Cinderella, she was turning into Courtney Love.
* In total, it was 10 months and $100,000 before Kristin returned home. I knew I had done the right thing when she told me in a letter she wrote: "Mom, you saved my life. If you wouldn't have sent me away, I know I would have ended up dead. Thank you for not giving up on me" Yes, her life was priceless to me, and I would have given my own life to save hers – and I almost did.
* Many people have drowned while trying to rescue someone else. That's exactly what happened to me – I was trying to save Kristin, but she was drowning me. We now both understand that I can only throw her a life ring, but it's up to her to grab hold of it and start pulling herself in.
* Divorce, like suicide, seemed a copout to me. It became evident to me that we sometimes marry accepting too little in the beginning and then expect too much in the end. When our expectations aren't met, we bail. We divorce and tear our families apart.
* Goals in your head can be somewhat like dreams or fantasies. Written goals are like staring at yourself in the mirror. They won't disappear – you can see them, you can touch them, and you can start working your plan to achieve them.
* What a liberating feeling it is to stop allowing things to happen to you and start making things happen for you. When we are persistent, believe in ourselves, and are consistent in our efforts to make changes in our lives or work, we can accomplish things we never imagined possible.
* I would never allow my identity to be defined by my work. I had my soul back, and was determined to keep it!
* When you leave this world, no matter how important you think you are to your work, you will be replaced. But you are irreplaceable to your family and the people who love you. Whatever you think you want to do in life, do it now. Tomorrow isn't promised to you.
* The past year, my soul was lost in the deep dungeons of the lost and found, but I can stand tall now and shout to the world, "I've reclaimed my soul form the lost and found, and I don't plan to ever let it end up there again!"
Sample Media
Questions
For
Lisa Whaley
1. If you could live your life over again, would you spend your entire working career with IBM?
2. Why did you write this book?
3. Do you plan on writing another book?
4. What do you hope people will get from reading your book?
5. At one point in life it seemed that you had it all. Is it really possible to have it all in life?
6. Your soul ended up in the lost and found. What advice would you give others to avoid that happening to them?
7. What lessons did you learn from having to deal with an out of control teen?
8. What would you say to someone who has lost hope?
9. What's the difference between balancing work and your personal life and finding harmony between work and personal life?
10. Would you recommend that mothers not work but stay at home with their children?
11. You were raised in a family of faith but in your married life faith became less important. Then in times of crisis you rediscovered the importance of your faith. Do you think this is typical with many Americans?
12. How do you see yourself living or doing 10 years from now?
13. In different instances the public schools failed your daughter. What do you think stands in the way of well-meaning educators not doing what they know is right for a student?
14. What advice would you give a couple who are struggling with their marriage and considering divorce?
15. Are there still issues you face today living in a biracial marriage?
16. Is your personal experience as a successful African American woman an important part of your message as a speaker, coach and author?
To arrange an interview with Lisa J. Whaley, contact Scott Lorenz of Westwind Communications at scottlorenz@westwindcos.com or by phone at 734-667-2090. To contact Whaley regarding speaking, coaching or workshop services, visit www.lifeworksynergy.com.
Financial Assistance
Life Coach and Author Offers 5 Tips for Families and Friends of Victims to
Help Them Move Forward
Washington, DC –In the wake of the devastation caused by hurricane Katrina, victims may feel as if they are somewhere in the lost and found. When catastrophic circumstances beyond our control occur in life, it's easy to feel hopeless and like giving up. Former IBM executive and now life coach and author, Lisa J. Whaley, shares her story of overcoming insurmountable obstacles in Reclaiming My Soul From The Lost And Found.
In Reclaiming My Soul From the Lost and Found, (ISBN 1-4140-7230-9 $27.95 251 pages, www.lifeworksynergy.com) Whaley reveals the decisions and actions that not only led her to lose hope and almost give up on life, but how she bounced back and moved forward and found genuine peace and serenity in the wake of life's catastrophes.
Whaley says, "After Katrina victims receive the basic necessities for survival, their journey to recovery is only beginning. They need so much more from family and friends" Whaley offers these 5 tips for families and friends of victims to help victims move forward and rebuild their lives:
1. Be a good listener. It's perfectly natural for victims to go through a range of emotions from disbelief to sadness to anger. Let them vent and let them express all of those emotions. It's difficult to move forward until acceptance of circumstances is reached. It's almost impossible to reach acceptance until emotions are released. As families and friends listen to victims express their feelings, there are only 3 things that need to be said, "I know… I understand… it'll be okay" No one can change what has happened, so being a good listener instead of questioning why what has happened has happened goes a long way.
2. Focus on the future and not on the past. Victims will have a tendency to dwell on what they've lost instead of looking ahead to the possibilities of what they possibly can gain in spite of the devastation. Friends and families of victims should encourage victims to look toward the future because we can never change the past. Even in the midst of the most catastrophic events, if we focus on the positive instead of the negative, our entire outlook can change. Even though victims will feel that they have been dealt a bad hand of cards, it's imperative that they focus on how to play the cards that they've been dealt – no matter how bad those cards may be. Maybe the victim has always wanted to relocate, or start a new career, or start a new life. Now may be the perfect opportunity to do something new and exciting that they've always dreamed about but never felt the time was right. Often times it is in the midst of crisis that we gain inner strength to do what we may have felt was impossible before.
3. Use the S. P. A. While a trip to a health spa would certainly be a luxury under these circumstances, there is a different SPA that families and friends should encourage victims to use – State, Plan, Act. Victims will have many life changing decisions to make as they move forward and need a roadmap for their journey. After all, you wouldn't dare get in your car and drive across country without a roadmap or a GPS system. Going through life changes or transitions is no different. Without a roadmap how do you know where you are going? And when detours occur, as they almost always do on a long difficult journey, how would know what path to take to get back on track? Victims should state all the things that they need to do, build a plan of how they are going to go about doing them and then begin acting on that plan. All of this should be written down in a journal or spiral notebook because the first step to making anything happen is to write it down. As victims work down their list of action items, they should check each item off as they accomplish it. This will give the victim a sense of accomplishment and another step toward moving forward.
4. Count your blessings. While most Katrina victims lost everything but the clothes on their backs, "material possessions" can be replaced – but lives can't. Families and friends should reiterate to victims that they are blessed to be alive. They should remind them of how much they are loved and how all the possessions that they lost can be replaced in time. But the fact that they are alive is worth more than any material possession. Their lives are priceless to the people who care about them and love them. Victims need to be constantly reminded of that.
5. It's okay to cry and laugh. Crying is good as it cleanses the soul. Families and friends should expect many tears from the victims and should encourage them to cry if they feel like crying. As emotions build, crying is a healthy release. But families and friends should let the victims know that it's okay to laugh too. Laughter helps generate energy and enthusiasm. Victims may feel somewhat guilty about laughing but they shouldn't. When we can learn to laugh under the most unpleasant of circumstances, it is a sign that we are taking a step toward moving forward.
To arrange an interview with Lisa J. Whaley, contact Scott Lorenz of Westwind Communications at scottlorenz@westwindcos.com or by phone at 734-667-2090. To contact Whaley regarding speaking, coaching or workshop services, visit www.lifeworksynergy.com.
Bio
Lisa J. Whaley,
From Successful Executive
To The Depths of Despair, She Reclaims Her Life
and Family
Lisa J. Whaley has 22 years of experience working for a major Fortune 500 company and has held a wide variety of positions in mid-level and executive-level management.
As a wife, mother and executive who appeared to "have it all," Whaley found herself in the "perfect storm of life" a few years ago. Suddenly, as a person who had been perceived as having scaled the top to reach the epitome of a perfect life, Whaley watched it unravel before her eyes. Life and work had become totally out of harmony and, after doing some deep soul searching, Whaley decided to take the necessary actions and do the hard work to reclaim her spirit, her family and put her life back in order.
Using a practical and disciplined approach, Whaley not only regained harmony and synergy in her life and work, but found total fulfillment and happiness in all dimensions of her life - physically, emotionally and spiritually.
Whaley founded Life Work Synergy because she became truly passionate about sharing her experiences to help others grow and become stronger beings. Whaley is the author of Reclaiming My Soul From The Lost and Found, a candid story about her life, her perspective as a woman trying to have it all while practically losing everything in the process. Whaley describes how she came crashing down from incredible heights and found the strength to lift herself back up, finding genuine peace and serenity in her personal and professional lives.
She holds a BS in Business Management from Hampton University, and is a graduate of executive leadership symposiums at Harvard University and UCLA. She was recognized as one of the "Women Who Make A Difference" at the 2001 Women of Color Technology Awards Conference sponsored by US Black and Hispanic Engineer Magazines. She is a member of the International Coach Federation.
Whaley is active in the community and mentors youth at risk. She is a professional life coach and a frequent motivational and inspirational speaker who speaks candidly and honestly from the heart.
Excerpts
Reclaiming My Soul from the Lost and Found
* Somewhere on my journey through life, I took a wrong detour and became a creation of other people's images of me. I got caught up in that creation, and that's when my soul ended up in the lost and found – to the detriment of my husband and my two daughters.
* I couldn't fathom then that there would be sunshine once again in my life. Even though it still continues to pour rain some days, I just imagine that I'm "Annie" in the Broadway musical singing "The sun will come out tomorrow" And it always does.
* As sick as I was during those two trimesters of pregnancy, I constantly rubbed my small but protruding stomach and talked to my child, telling her how much I loved her. I remember thinking, even though you're making me feel miserable right now, I'll never stop loving you. I had no idea that 14 years later I would say those very same words to her.
* I really did feel as if I could run into a phone booth and change out of my business suit into a spandex jumpsuit with a big "S" on my chest, for I truly believed that I was Super Mom.
* Back then, I was focused on trying to achieve balance between work and life. I later changed my philosophy to reflect the idea that finding harmony as opposed to balance might be a more realistic objective.
* Sometimes saying no is the right thing to do. Many women fear that saying no to an opportunity craters their career, but I feel strongly that saying yes to the wrong opportunity can be detrimental.
* The weather alerts had been flashing for a long time that a storm was brewing. But it would take the eye of the storm before I even knew what hit me. It almost drowned me and swept me away, but I grabbed hold of a lifeline and started pulling myself in before it was too late.
* Jim, like me, was in denial for a long time that our daughter had some serious issues…. After all, this was his firstborn, his little princess. But instead of Cinderella, she was turning into Courtney Love.
* In total, it was 10 months and $100,000 before Kristin returned home. I knew I had done the right thing when she told me in a letter she wrote: "Mom, you saved my life. If you wouldn't have sent me away, I know I would have ended up dead. Thank you for not giving up on me" Yes, her life was priceless to me, and I would have given my own life to save hers – and I almost did.
* Many people have drowned while trying to rescue someone else. That's exactly what happened to me – I was trying to save Kristin, but she was drowning me. We now both understand that I can only throw her a life ring, but it's up to her to grab hold of it and start pulling herself in.
* Divorce, like suicide, seemed a copout to me. It became evident to me that we sometimes marry accepting too little in the beginning and then expect too much in the end. When our expectations aren't met, we bail. We divorce and tear our families apart.
* Goals in your head can be somewhat like dreams or fantasies. Written goals are like staring at yourself in the mirror. They won't disappear – you can see them, you can touch them, and you can start working your plan to achieve them.
* What a liberating feeling it is to stop allowing things to happen to you and start making things happen for you. When we are persistent, believe in ourselves, and are consistent in our efforts to make changes in our lives or work, we can accomplish things we never imagined possible.
* I would never allow my identity to be defined by my work. I had my soul back, and was determined to keep it!
* When you leave this world, no matter how important you think you are to your work, you will be replaced. But you are irreplaceable to your family and the people who love you. Whatever you think you want to do in life, do it now. Tomorrow isn't promised to you.
* The past year, my soul was lost in the deep dungeons of the lost and found, but I can stand tall now and shout to the world, "I've reclaimed my soul form the lost and found, and I don't plan to ever let it end up there again!"
Sample Media
Questions
For
Lisa Whaley
1. If you could live your life over again, would you spend your entire working career with IBM?
2. Why did you write this book?
3. Do you plan on writing another book?
4. What do you hope people will get from reading your book?
5. At one point in life it seemed that you had it all. Is it really possible to have it all in life?
6. Your soul ended up in the lost and found. What advice would you give others to avoid that happening to them?
7. What lessons did you learn from having to deal with an out of control teen?
8. What would you say to someone who has lost hope?
9. What's the difference between balancing work and your personal life and finding harmony between work and personal life?
10. Would you recommend that mothers not work but stay at home with their children?
11. You were raised in a family of faith but in your married life faith became less important. Then in times of crisis you rediscovered the importance of your faith. Do you think this is typical with many Americans?
12. How do you see yourself living or doing 10 years from now?
13. In different instances the public schools failed your daughter. What do you think stands in the way of well-meaning educators not doing what they know is right for a student?
14. What advice would you give a couple who are struggling with their marriage and considering divorce?
15. Are there still issues you face today living in a biracial marriage?
16. Is your personal experience as a successful African American woman an important part of your message as a speaker, coach and author?
To arrange an interview with Lisa J. Whaley, contact Scott Lorenz of Westwind Communications at scottlorenz@westwindcos.com or by phone at 734-667-2090. To contact Whaley regarding speaking, coaching or workshop services, visit www.lifeworksynergy.com.
Scott Lorenz
President
Westwind Communications
Plymouth, MI
734-667-2090
734-455-7090
First Url: Lisa Whaley
Second Url: Essence Magazine Article Featuring Lisa Whaley
