Terrell, NC

Friday, July 03, 2009

Michael Jackson: His Life and His Legacy

With the news of Michael Jackson's death dominating all media modalities, many of you may be sharing my shock of the magnitude of his following. I have witnessed the passing of many of our presidents and celebrities, but even the war in Iraq and the fighting in Iran have relinquished their headlines to Michael's unexpected tragedy. It is interesting how our perceptions, memories and admiration change with one's passing on.

As the youngest of the Jackson 5, Michael was the "lead" singer, stole the show, and made every mother want to adopt him. He was adorable in that bright pink hat, and when the mic was is his hand, his polished performances confirmed that we all have a special calling in life as confirmed by my research published in my first book, Why Cats Don't Bark. Michael's calling committed him to a life that gave him fame and fortune but robbed him of a childhood he so desperately attempted to recreate throughout his adult life. Certainly building Neverland Ranch, even the name of it, reveals his longing for the freedoms we are to enjoy as children. He stated he knew he had a special gift and felt compelled to share it with the world. How do we keep our gifts as blessings rather than a curse that controls our destiny when the fans demand more of us? Few celebrities have been able to set boundaries and maintain that balance.

As a free-spirit who has a strong right-brain tilt, I am not one to think linearly or follow sequence or the tried-and-true path. However, when it comes to a child's development, it is essential to follow the rules as we have witnessed in Judy Garland, Marilyn Monroe, and numerous celebrities time and time again. When JonBenet Ramsey was busy looking pretty, she should have been having fun getting dirty in a sand box.

The question is, when a child has a God-given gift, do you nurture his or her gift or do you as a parent deny the expression of your children's potential or genius to protect their innocence. I am about to launch a children's character building program, I Believe I Can Fly, that helps parents and teachers identify and nurture a child's reason for being. Like so many things in life, it is not what you do but "how" you do it and the program provides the tools to do it right.

However, when children are exposed to a lot of public applause at a very young age, they frequently become dependent upon the affirmation of the masses and develops an addiction to public approval. By all reports, Michael was a very kind, loving, and sensitive person who had to have felt betrayed many times by fickle fans. It is easy to say one should not take criticisms personally, but when it may be your primary support system since childhood, staying objective becomes mission impossible. As a child I was upset when teased by just one boy who was a bully. The risk is certainly heightened when you perform before thousands who may love you, adore you, and worship you, but then turn on you.

Was there abuse? Reports, even statements from Michael himself, indicate that Joe Jackson, Michael's father, may have been abusive and may be the reason he had been left out of Michael's will. I don't know, but I do know that his father saw the talent and potential in his children to have more than a two-bedroom house for a growing family of nine children, and may have simply wanted more for them. On the other hand, his children may have been seen as a meal ticket. M. Scott Peck wrote about insensitive people in his book, People of the Lie. An example Peck might have cited was during on interview regarding his son's death, Joe seemed more concerned about getting in a plug for his new record label company than the sudden loss of his son. Such insensitivity is a silent abuse that many upper middle class parents also practice as religiously as their golf game.

In another of my books, Winning! How Winners Think…What Champions Do, I concluded from hundreds of interviews with gentle giants that the ultimate joy was to out-do yourself and your own expectations. Joy was doing more and becoming more than you ever thought possible. When one observes Michael's dance maneuvers, he truly exhibits dance "moves" that makes one wonder if his knees had rubber bands. Michael's desperate attempts to heal himself with surgeries, conceal his imperfections with masks, and alleviate his pain with drugs were nothing more than band aids that covered up problems requiring a deeper reconciliation of the soul. How such extraordinary talent often taunts one with tragedy is a fairy tale too often told. Michael, the man in the mirror, had many reflections. May he now rest in peace.

Edie Raether, MS, CSP, is an international speaker, author and authority on transforming potential into possibilities. She is also the creator of I Believe I Can Fly, the transformational children's program. Visit Edie at www.raether.com and www.wingsforwishes.com or contact her at edie@raether.com.

Edie Raether, MS, CSP

CEO

Edie Raether Enterprises and Wings for Wishes Institute

Terrell, NC

(704)658-8997