Girls Who Bully: "Girls Will Be Girls" Is Not an Excuse

Last night I had a discussion with several of my women friends about why girls can be so mean or "catty."  Most experts have expressed how bullying among girls is rapidly on the increase especially with the onset of cyber-bullying where one can easily hide and remain anonymous, at least until caught.

While boys are more likely to "have it out" in the parking lot and yet be on the same baseball team the next day, girls tend to dig in deep and not let go of their prey.  Girls tend to sustain an ongoing battle and continue their harassment relentlessly.  Some of the contributing factors are that boys are often taught team sports at a young age, while girls play with dolls or do more one-on-one activities and single themselves off with just one friend or two and then begin to exclude who they perceive as intruders to their small inside circle.  Fortunately, girls are now more active in sports where the lessons of team cooperation are now learned by many girls as well. 

However, there is less progress regarding the effects of the media on the self-esteem and positive identity our girls need to learn.  If you listen to the lyrics of much of the rap music, not all, but much of it, you will cringe. My curiosity pushed me to tune in and listen to some rap, but to  save my sanity and faith in humankind, I had to turn it off. The lyrics were quite explicit in depicting girls as nothing more than a sex objects put on earth for male pleasure.  Heck, you can't even watch a hamburger advertisement for one of the fast food joints without clearly depicted messages of seduction.  Why can't a hamburger just be a hamburger!

It is difficult for girls to choose the path of Gabrielle Giffords, the Tuscon congresswoman who survived a bullet to her brain, or Secretary of State Hillary Clinton as they don't fit the media's mold of what is cool or sexy.  Most teen girls are more tuned into the escapades of Lindsay Lohan which have much more frequency on the airwaves. When a teenage girls lacks identity, she craves image and the media and teen music offer a plethora of images that put girls into a competitive spirit with each other for the attention of the almighty male.  Even smart, savvy women such as Maria Shriver can fall victim to the delusional images of power we relinquish to men such as her husband Arnold Schwarzenegger, actor and previous governor of California. 

Edie Raether is an international speaker and an authority on bullying. She is a bestselling author with several books including Stop Bullying Now. Visit www.stopbullyingwithedie.com for more information.