Conflict happens. People see things differently. It is a given in life that there can and will be conflict.

The key is not to stick our heads in the sand an hope it goes away, rather to deal with it. And deal with it early rather than later.

When emotions are left alone, they can have a tendency to fester. We’ve all seen it — or felt it. And let’s face it, the issues that cause conflicts rarely go away or solve themselves. They usually just get bigger, and bigger, and bigger.

So, what to DO about it??? Here are a few thoughts:

1. Listen: Stop. Listen to understand, not to respond, formulate an argument and be right. There’s a critical difference between understanding and responding – a big emphasis of Stephen Covey. This will help you understand the conflict and nature of the conflict.
2. Eliminate the Emotion: It’s easy to confuse emotion with motivation. Emotions cannot drive decisions. For a conflict to resolve the parties need to understand what is true and what is not.
3. Communicate clearly: Many conflicts arise out of poor communication, miscommunication, lack of information, lack of understanding. As you attempt to resolve conflict, communicate as clearly and impartially as you can, providing facts when appropriate.
4. Seek to understand the other’s perspective: Check your perspective at the door and look at it from other angles. Suggest the other parties do the same.
5. Seek the win:win: Try to find the collaborative solution that works best for the parties and the organization. If one side feels the need to win at a loss for the other side, the conflict won’t resolve.
6. Pick your battles: Avoid pursuing conflict for the sake of pursuing conflict.
7. See conflict as an opportunity: A well resolved conflict will help the parties learn something about each other and the process. A learning opportunity…

When conflicts arise, determining solutions to resolve issues helps build and strengthen the skills that we need, like communication and problem solving. And, when handled correctly, it can also strengthen relationships and build trust between you and those you work with.

A parting thought: Resolution will happen when there is a desire by both side to resolve. That might be the best place to start… gaining agreement that a solution is the end game. What think?

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