It's the first day of a fun family vacation. You are on your way to a fun, relaxing & bonding family time!
So far, so good! You have entered the car. Now, the seatbelt war begins. Maybe it begins with the children yelping, "Joey, put your seatbelt on!" in a tone that Joey does not like. Joey automatically retaliates with a little push or name calling. You have not even left the driveway yet...and you are dealing with a battle.
It is very normal at this point for Mom or Dad to get frustrated, angry and hurt because they feel totally unappreciated and they begin to dictate, "Stop it!" The kids oblige out of fear and all is well.... Or is it? For every action there is a reaction. Every seed planted in the mind of another is an opportunity for that seed to grow into physical circumstance.
For instance, how do you feel when you like something, maybe a new hairdo, or for men, it could be the idea of playing golf for the afternoon, and someone, your partner, spouse or parent tells you "That's a horrible hair cut. You should do your hair like this." Or "You can't go golfing! You are so irresponsible!"
How do you feel? If you can't explain how you feel, answer this question: Does it feel positive or negative?
So, let's say you get out of the driveway with success. By success, I mean peace, cooperation and authentic happiness. And you are on your way. How much time goes by before you are doing something besides driving? Did you know that on the highway you can go 25 car lengths in two seconds!?! It's easy to take your eyes off the road for just a couple seconds when the kids are going "Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, MOM, Mommy, MOMMY!!! Like...seriously? And by the time you have been on vacation for two hours, you're exhausted! Am I right?
Now, what is the best solution to be safe while driving in the car on a road trip?
What if I told you that an extra 10 minutes before your trip would save you time, energy and money, not to mention sanity! What if there was a way to raise and help create toddlers, children and teenagers who act with self-control, responsibility and self-discipline? What if you could have peaceful organized days, including the emotions of peace, happiness and harmony in the home, yes with the children?
Yes, you can have it all when you follow the upcoming advice to the letter!
There is a philosophy that answers all of the above questions. Here I will do my best with the amount of time I have with you to give you enough information to have a safe drive and happier vacation with your children.
1. Lay Out Expectations: If you are a couple, have a five minute discussion, together as parents, of exactly what you would like to see happen in the car. For example:
a.) Seat belts on.
b.) Speak to each other with positive statements only.
c.) Work together as a team to have a safe drive.
d.) Decide how many times the children are allowed to interrupt your conversation or driving time with "Mom, Mom, Mom...."
e.) Keep all hands, feet and limbs in own area.
2. Know the Reward: This is a gold nugget for success as a parent! Parents will tend to bribe their children for good behavior. The best thing to do is find out what is most important for your children to be, do and have on the road trip or after the road trip. Make a list: getting takeout food (average, bare minimum or outstanding), watching movies in the car, playing board games, playing electronic games, etc., etc., etc.
3. Match Desires: Match your desires to their desires by sitting with them and explaining the terms. You owe them nothing, except food, clothes and shelter. Everything else is a privilege that must be earned. When they choose to show you the behavior you have laid out for a certain amount of time, they may earn the privilege of...whatever their desire is.
4. Echo Back: Make sure to have them repeat back to you what they heard so you can make sure you are on the exact same understanding. Re-explain what you need and stick to your guns!
This positive parenting philosophy has been applied with 1000s of children and works to produce happy, successful and grateful results with every child. It's guaranteed!