It's so exciting when a baby learns how to walk, talk and explore new territory. They usually begin getting into trouble around the same time they discover mobility. The term Terrible Twos has existed since the 1950s, without agreement from research. "It's an old-fashioned idea and not supported by research," says Alan Kazdin, Ph.D., director of the Parenting Center at Yale University. Perhaps because so much pressure was put on families to be detergent-commercial-perfect that the moment a child grew out of compliant infancy, moms were freaked out.
Your toddler or child would love for you to recognize their greatness. Did you know that it is normal for a baby to hear no up to 400 times a day? In working to protect our babies, we say, "No, don't touch that" or "No, don't go there. No, no, no..." Would the word no be associated with positive or negative? How is it possible to have a positive parenting style using outdated punishment techniques?
There is a way to avoid the so called Terrible Two's and temper tantrums altogether and every other childhood rebellion you experience.
4 Positive Parenting Tips on How to Survive Demanding Toddlers and Children.
1. Realize that your toddler is very intelligent. Your toddler is very intuitive and intelligent. They don't wake up in the morning thinking, "What is the best way to make Mom crazy today?" They would love for you to see their greatness. It's just that their greatness can be our pain when they are banging two glasses together.
2. Focus on what you choose to see from your toddler in spite of what they are doing. If they are banging glasses together, give zero energy to the glasses. Show the toddler where it is appropriate to bang and what they can bang on.
3. Praise your toddler's behavior. When they are banging two glasses together you say, "Oh look at how smart you are! You are playing the drums. The glasses will break and you will hurt yourself but you can bang on the pots and pans here in the kitchen." That way, you are recognizing what is important to your toddler, while at the same time still teaching your toddler life skills of appropriate behavior.
4. You make the decisions and you give them choices. Your toddler can not make decisions yet, but they can feel like they do when you offer them three choices of what they can do: "Little Timmy, you can bang on the pots and pans here in the kitchen, play with your toys over here, or draw a picture on this paper with these crayons."
Adding in these simple parenting strategies with your toddler or child on a regular basis will help build your toddler's self-esteem, confidence and individualism, while at the same time teaching them life skills of appropriate behavior. You see, everything your toddler does is perfect to them. Until this time the only communication tool they have had is crying. It is your job or role as a parent to transition them from babies to toddlers by teaching them life skills, and by guiding your toddler's behavior by showing them what they can do, and then by praising them for making the right choice.
These positive parenting strategies are just the beginning to an entire new, very effective parenting philosophy,
Creating Champions for Life, which will help you help your child always be a champion! When you parent with this positive parenting style you will put an end to many, if not all, of the symptoms of the Terrible Twos.