Downers Grove, IL

Saturday, September 08, 2012

 

If you could use a good laugh to reduce your stress and lower your blood pressure, check out my summary of the odder stoies in the news.

The conventions are finally over, and after two weeks of being bombarded with political rhetoric, we can finally return to the election year normalcy of campaigning, debating, and mud slinging.

If you missed a minute of either the Republican or Democratic conventions, you are a very normal person. I, on the other hand, watched every minute of each and summarized each day just like I do for meetings and conventions all over the globe.

I have posted both written and video reports on my blog and invite you to visit and take a look. Go to http://www.daleirvin.com/blog 

But now it is time to take a look at the other weird news that has happened around the world this week, so sit back, relax, and enjoy the antics of this week's idiots.

A 72-year-old patient in Lidkoping, Sweden underwent anesthetics for a kidney operation. This was at 10:45 AM. At noon, the operation was not complete when the head anesthetist went to lunch. After all, it was noon and the meatballs weren't getting any warmer. Next, the head nurse went to strap on the feed bag. The doctor, by the way, was already on his lunch break.

While everyone was enjoying a nice meal, the patient started having trouble and the nurse who stopped by didn't know how to adjust his respirator and mistakenly turned it off. When the doctor and nurses returned from lunch, they found their patient out for good.

Let this be a lesson for us in future healthcare discussions in this country. Make sure we provide in-operating-room dining so the help doesn't have to leave the patient alone.

I LOVE CHARITY

In Tokyo, Japan, models are raising money for Stop AIDS, a Japanese charity. They are doing it by offering something called oppai momi. For those not fluent in Japanese, oppai momi is the practice of allowing people to squeeze your breasts in exchange for money. Oppai momi is very popular in some Japanese bars.

How did this honored custom not get exported to America? We brought over Japanese radios, cameras, and karaoke but nobody told us about oppai momi.

All we have is a restaurant chain called Hooters and it's not what it seems so I say let's follow the Japanese and grab onto this idea with both hands.

TURN DOWN THAT HIGHWAY

Joyce Coffey is a New Hampshire resident who likes listening to the AC/DC classic, "Highway To Hell." She likes it so much that she was loudly blasting it from her home to the point that police were called and gave her a warning. An hour later the music was still blaring so the police arrested Joyce.

She spent 5 hours in jail, went home, and started cranking her tunes again. She was arrested again. When she got out, she not only blared the music but allegedly threw a frying pan at her nephew for not singing along. Another arrest. All in all, Joyce was arrested 4 times in 26 hours, setting a new New Hampshire record.

The judge on her case suggested that in the future, she wear headphones.

Dale Irvin

Professional Summarizer

Downers Grove, IL

630-852-7695