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What Your Children Expect from You in Co-Parenting with Your Ex When Going Through a Divorce
Beverly Hills, CA
Thursday, January 05, 2012
Evan Sussman, Founder of Sussman and Associates, discusses what children expect from divorced parents, as reported by Kara Bishop for The Huffington Post Kara Bishop wrote a blog for Huffington Post about her experience working with children from divorced families in a program entitled, "Children of Divorce and Changing Families, which is an 8 week program. In the sixth week program children whose parents are going through divorce or recently have gone through divorce are asked what their parents can do to ease their post divorce stresses. The following are the list of the ten most popular things that parents can do to ease their children's stress. As a divorce lawyer of over seventeen (17) years I have added my comments to these points: 1. Don't say bad things about the other parent – As a California divorce lawyer a typical order the court makes is that neither parent can disparage the other parent in front of the children or have third parties do the same. It is important that you do not bad mouth about the other parent in front of your children; a court will not appreciate this and it will be used against you. 2. Keep us out of adult stuff: A divorce is very traumatic to a child. The divorce is between you and the other parent. You should make every effort not to involve your children in the divorce proceedings. 3. Don't make us feel bad for loving the other parent: Your children love both of you. Making them feel bad for spending time with the other parent is putting them in the middle of your divorce. 4. Learn to get along for big events: This is about taking the high road. Even if the other parent annoys and frustrates you for the purposes of going to your child's play, etc. get along with the other parent for that evening, etc. 5. Don't make me choose sides: This is really the same as #3 above. 6. No fighting in front of us: This again is a variation of #3 above. Any adult discussions with the other parent should not be made in front of the children. 7. Don't make me a messenger or put me in the middle: Communications between the parents should be made by the parents and not have the children act as messengers. The children will have stress and anxiety if you do this. Communications with the other parent should be direct. 8. Don't share or put your anger on me: If you are frustrated or annoyed at the other parent make sure that you are not taking it out on your children. 9. Don't ask me to spy: By doing this you are putting your children in the middle of your divorce. This should not be done; and Give me one on one time with both parents: Unless there is a court order for supervised visitation to protect the children it is important that the children have quality time with both parents. For more from Sussman & Associates, APLC, visit: www.SussmanLawFirm.com www.Facebook.com/SussmanLawFirm www.Twitter.com/SussmanLawFirm www.Linkedin.com/in/EvanSussman Media Inquiries Carla Lopez Carla@Lopez-Marketing.com 323) 620 – 4237 Evan T. Sussman
Sussman & Associates
Beverly Hills, CA
310-288-1990
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