Fort Lee, NJ

Monday, November 07, 2011

ENGLEWOOD CLIFFS, NJ: The fox is in the hen house again and this time, like so many others seemingly, Farmer Jones wasn't informed. I'm referring, of course, to the ongoing sex abuse of children by persons in positions of authority and the non-action or minimal action of those who are supposed to stop the predators.

If it weren't so serious a crime, killing the innocence of children and scarring them for life, it might almost be one of those comedy skits where someone says, "It's not my job." It's all of our jobs and it's especially appalling when a major college sports figure is involved not only in the sexual abuse of these children, but when others in major positions at that university do very little about it.

Just telling someone in the administration and then not following up to see if action has been taken would seem to me to be insufficient. Kids are being harmed just as surely as if they had been kidnapped and you only tell one person and then go on about your business as though this is now over and done with? Where is the sense of responsibility for these kids? Do you protect someone so that there's no mark on your school and just see the kids as expendable or, since it's boys, it's not really worth any more effort? Doesn't anyone follow up? Don't boys deserve the same protection as girls? Have no lessons been learned from the child sex abuse cases here and in Europe?

Okay, once again, let's go over the matter of sexual predators of children. Seems the message still hasn't gotten through or, if it has, it's been dismissed because of money and profile considerations.

Who are the sexual predators?

1. They are people you know and respect either as members of your community or from afar because of their association with some well-respected organization. They may have won awards for their work with children.

2. They are not necessarily strangers. Sexual predators of children aren't roaming the streets to find likely targets to pull into vans or cars. True, there may be some doing that, but the ones who really want to insure they'll find a steady supply of victims do it in much more sophisticated ways; they start clubs for disadvantaged kids. Why disadvantaged kids? Simple. Usually, it may be a single-mom family and the mother has to go to work, leaving the child in the care of someone else until she returns from work. Where would you think your child would be safe? An after-school program, right? Wrong. This is Fishing Hole #1 for the predators.

Clubs, sports programs and even after-school tutoring sessions are opportunities for these individuals. They have the trust of the community, especially if they are affiliated with a religious organization or a major university, college or school. Next, the child feels special because of the group leader's fame and urges the mom to let them join and, usually, everything is FREE and for a working, single mom this is a great incentive. Poverty presents another opportunity for these trolls. In some instances, they look to school for kids with some type of developmental disability or learning disability as their victims.

3. They may be married with a family of their own. Predators, just as rapists of adult women, aren't lonely, single guys craving the thrill of the hunt and the catching of the prey. These guys are family men who may even lead the church choir on Sundays and be members of the medical profession, the police department, the fire department or a corporate executive.

4. They are not reluctant to use psychological tricks to get the kids to keep this "secret" they have. In this, they are very good salesmen both to the kids and their parent/s. Everyone thinks they are above reproach.

5. They've probably been doing this for years without getting caught and that reinforces their belief that they can go on with impunity.

So, when anyone is told that a child or an adult witnessed something like sexual abuse of a child, there should be no question what you do; you tell the police. The Good Samaritan laws in most states, I believe, protect anyone who reports suspected child abuse. If you're concerned, check with a local DA in your area.

Dr. Patricia A. Farrell, Ph.D.

Licensed Psychologist

Dr. Patricia A. Farrell, Ph.D., LLC

Fort Lee, NJ