Approximately 127,000 children are adopted each year in the U.S.  Adoptees have a need to know their identity.  Only six states have "Open Adoption Records" that allow adoptees to have their records open so they may know their identity, medical history, and heritage.
According to a study committed from the American Academy of Pediatrics, "It is vital for one to know their identity in order to develop normally."  Why aren't courts, adopted parents, lawmakers, and others made aware of this?  Why are adoptees denied the right to their own information?
Shame on the state lawmakers who deny adoptees the right to know their identity or have access to their records.  Because of antiquated laws and lawmakers who don't care or don't understand, adoptees must live with the "unknown" about themselves and this is unfair and unjust.  Adoptees are victims of the law.
And shame on any adopted parent who makes an adoptee feel guilty if they want to know about their biological family. Adoptees are victimized by their adopted parents when this happens.  Many adoptees feel guilty that they want to know their identity and many wait until the adopted parents are deceased to begin searching for their identity or their biological family.  Social workers, adoption agencies, judges, courts, and others should be required to explain to an adopted parent that their child may have a real need to know their identity so the child is not victimized.
Not only is there a need for an adoptee to know their identity but what about a birth parent who may live with guilt and regret over the decision to give up their child for adoption without ever knowing whether their decision was in the child's best interest?  Biological families often have to live with the unknown about the child.  This can be a traumatic experience.
Forcing adoptees to live with the "unknown" is like putting a curse on them.  Obviously they have a real need to know the truth, and regardless of what the truth may be, the truth will "set them free" from the "unknown".
Unless you have experienced being denied the right to information about yourself, you probably don't understand what this feels like and how this can potentially cause someone's life to become out of balance.  In some cases living with the "unknown" is like a cancer eating at you.  It causes a void in your life, and that can lead to your life becoming out of balance.
Adoptees had no choice in the decision for them to be adopted.  They have done nothing wrong and don't deserve to be victimized and punished by uncaring lawmakers.  What is the solution?  I believe nothing will change or be done unless someone takes action by becoming a lobbyist and making your elected officials aware of your concerns.  If no one complains it is assumed that everyone is okay with the laws the way they are.......but if enough people will start a petition, hold town meetings,  and invite lawmakers to listen to their concerns, laws can be changed.....and records can be open and availble to those who need this information.  There are many search and support groups in the country, but not many will actually take action to change the adoption laws of their state.
In the 1980's I became a lobbyist in the state of Tennessee and spent several months talking individually to about 140 lawmakers and explaining my point of view on the adoption laws.  The law was changed after that, but a few years later another group became lobbyists and spent a couple of years convincing the lawmakers to open the records and now Tennessee has some of the best adoption record laws in the country.  This proves that one person can make a difference.  If your state laws are unfair and need to be changed, why aren't you doing something?  If you are affected by these laws and don't do anything to change them, then you are part of the problem.

Norma Tillman

Author/Private Investigator / Speaker

Norma Tillman Enterprises

Hendersonville, TN

615-440-3836