Bullies Beware! No More Rubber Rules



     With the issues of bullying getting the attention it deserves and is long overdue, it is time for all of us to own the problem and take action. A good start is to have classroom rules. When I went to school it was no chewing gum, and don't we all wish those were our challenges today. 

     One of the points I make in programs I offer to teachers on how to best deal with bullying is to have No Rubber Rules.  Both parents and teachers can be a bit "wishy-washy" when it comes to rules which is an invitation for a continual testing of boundaries.  Being firm, but friendly and caring, yet consistent is crucial for credibility. However, you can't do it alone.  You need to recruit the entire class to eliminate bullying because peer pressure has more influence than your approval or disapproval of their behavior. 

     Just as there are No Smoking areas, the classroom is a No Bullying area.  Of course, the rules extend beyond the classroom, but it is turf we can control and also gives a good start to learning more acceptable behavior patterns.  Communicating clear expectations bring definitive results.

Four rules that are crucial for every classroom:

   We Shall Not Bully Other Students

   We Shall Try to Help Students Who are Bullied

   We Shall Include Students Who Are Often Left Out

   We Shall Create a Compassionate, Caring Environment

     Just as talk is cheap, so too rules can become irrelevant unless enforced with consequences to one's choices.  There also must be active discussion and participation for words to take on meaning and bring the desired change. There also must be active discussion and participation for words to take on meaning and bring the desired change.  Role playing is probably one of the very best ways to bring understanding and intervention.  When you do a role reversal where the bully plays the part of his or her chosen victim, then, and only then the bully begins to see with another's eyes, hears with another's ears, and feels another's heart.  This is how one can begin to create the understanding necessary to build empathy for a caring culture.

Edie Raether, known as the Bully Buster, is an international speaker, parenting coach and bestselling author of seven books including Stop Bullying Now. A behavioral psychology expert and family therapist, Edie has also been a college professor and talk show host with ABC. Visit her at www.stopgullyingwithedie.com. Contact her at (704) 658-8997.