As most women know (or should know), men are barbarians and not the cleanest of God's creatures. Women, who are God's chosen people, (guys, please don't argue -- you are outnumbered) were created to civilize the barbarians but unfortunately, too many of us chosen creatures are not doing a very good job. Thanks to "social change" many women no longer know how to be women ("Don't do that for me! I can do it myself!") and men don't know how to be men, or are afraid to be men, and in a lame attempt to display what they perceive as a manifestation of masculinity  that women can't take away or emulate, they grow a beard.

I maintain that beards are depots for disease -- it just makes sense. When you see a guy with facial shrubbery you have to wonder how much lingering decay from leftovers from last Thanksgiving's turkey dinner (or whatever else) is buried deep in the mess.

Because I am a woman and therefore, always right, I must point out just how right I am. It has been determined (scientifically, of course) that bearded men have poop on their faces.  Watch this video: "Bearded Men Have Poop on Their Faces":   http://nypost.com/2015/05/04/science-proves-that-beards-contain-fecal-matter/

It would probably help if men thought to wash their hands after using the restroom, but barbarians that they are, they don't think.  Oh, I know beard sympathizers  will say "You can have poop any place on your body so chill out." To that I say, why make it easier than it already is to spread e-Coli and other dangerous pathogens?

According to a group of microbiologists in New Mexico, the rancid bacteria that beards collect could be putting owners' health at risk. Watch this video: https://youtu.be/YehOfHRrkIY

Microbiologist John Golobic, of Quest Diagnostics, swabbed a number of beards searching for bacteria for a study and found that some of the bacteria "are the kind of things that you find in feces."

Girlfriends, do you get it? Who wants to get close to that?

"I'm usually not surprised, and I was surprised by this," Golobic  said. "There would be a degree of uncleanliness that would be somewhat disturbing." He suggested, "Try to keep your hands away from your face, as much as possible," (Yeah, right. Guys will follow that advice.)

Sanitation aside, there is another significant issue with beards.

A beard is a mask. Would a Western man in his right mind have a relationship with a woman whose face he never saw? A real man would not.  By the same token, a real woman would not have a relationship with a man who perpetually hides his face from her. Please, no arguments about a woman  covering her face with cosmetics. At the end of the day after it's all washed off, the real woman, for better or worse, is revealed.

A beard is a deceptive and dishonest affectation. What false image is a man trying to convey? What is he trying to hide from the world? Who is he -- really? When you are young you can hide the person you really are. As time goes on, the "real you" becomes evident on your face. A beard on an older man hides the reality of the person he has become.

It seems the older a guy gets the longer he allows  his beard to grow because he's either (a) too senile to keep himself clean or (b) he is delusional, thinking it's a sign of sexiness and virility that went bye-bye long, long ago.

Look, if none of the above will motivate men to shave off facial foliage, consider that Islamic savages are required to wear a beard. The least Western men can do is to shave their face in protest. It's a patriotic thing to do.

Join the No More Beards movement. Contact us with civil comments and support at UnitedForCivility@gmail.com